Just finished rewriting the drumline score. Even got a new name for it. Took me a while to ponder about it though. For those who want to know, you'll find out tomorrow. Looks like this composition aint that bad afterall. And above all, it holds meaning in its name. Will explain that to the drumline tomorrow...it'll probably give them some sense of direction and make them understand...how a percussion score should be played. Surprisingly my own direction in writing the score a few moments ago was easily found, not like the clueless, empty-minded me that I used to have inside...searching for lost answers. I hope mr poh likes the new edition, and I certainly hope it's more enjoyable for the line.

It certainly pays to be able to find your own direction without the need to 'consult a map', which I've, and many others have been doing for a long time. I've learnt that self-reliance...in some places...are more beneficial...in some cases it paves the way to your true self...one that had been sealed off by a mental barrier placed there throughout most of your life. I've become impressionistic again. -.- seriously, if you want to find yourself you gotta take some time off and think...search...understand. Your purpose, your direction, your motivation, what you cherish and what you forsake. Too many things for me to possibly put down here, but for most of you out there I guess you've been trying to find your inner self for a long time. Succeeded or failed, it's still an attempt...a valued one.

Direction is clouded by emotion. Emotions are there to lift you up and bring you down. In most cases, when one is brought down, he needs to search within himself for the strength...which lies in what I've mentioned above, to begin climbing the limitless mountain again, then, later, only to fall and find himself back at square one. Life's a bitch, I think sometimes we all agree on that. But it's the simpler things of life that makes us look back and wonder...what are we to become? The simplest way to reach the end of the line is to trek the path without emotion, without complicated things to cloud our vision and dampen our spirits. The simpler things spur us on, push us forward; that is our motivation. We are in search of complicated things, things we consider superior, things we consider are absolute good, but once we fall victim to their fatal attraction, we are dragged down with its toxicity...

Simple things

Complicated things

And everything else....in between?

impressionism bites. does any of that stuff even make sense?

 Just bored. Nothing to do, and I don't feel like studying...no mood, no energy. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow after coming home from school...got chinese listenin compre tomorrow. Just realized that my printer ink cartridge is out of black...probably depleted from printing the endless pages of the drumline score. Gotta get some by tomorrow if I'm to come up with the 2nd edition of the drumline by thursday. Also found out that there's no alumni band tomorrow -.- even more boredom.

Whats more, I've got TPJC band next week onwards on :

MONDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

and FRIDAYS!

hallelujah. joy to the world.

not that I'm excited about it or anything, it totally spoils my mood. lol. And there's band back at PY on mondays, thursdays and fridays starting next week too. I goddamnit hope band at TPJC ends at noon or somewhere around there, and there would be no goddamn sectionals after that...just in case anyone is having any bright peppy ideas to keep us behind...not that I'm against the idea. I've got other things to do! yes, you guys do too. forget it. lol. not worth arguing over, is it?

Yesterday was absolutely lovely...the entire drumline learnt the whole score inclusive of those excellent gimmicks by the toms. Toms...always coming up with bright, fresh ideas to bring up the spirit and pump up the fun. Bassses...too busy with their multiple. hahahahaha. only one cymbalist yesterday...huifang...and she was so blur with the score... snares have always been boring people. Not boring lah, actually. SERIOUS. muaha. I almost couldn't believe that they would be able to play their solo. Looks like I arranged the drumline just right this time. Though mr poh wants some changes to be made. My sentiments exactly. too boring in places. gotta come up with that by thursday...thats why i need my printer INK! I wonder if I could do a variation instead...based on that part, but a much nicer one. Oh well. It depends on whether inspiration chooses to find me, or I'd be spending hours empty minded trying to find IT. when it doesn't come it just doesn't come. I can't think when I don't have something to spur me. -.- are all composers like this?

lol i overshot my sms by 33 msges...resulting in an extra 1.60 -.- as if 1000 free sms isn't enough for me. gotta start watching it. troublesome la. my msg counter is like so many clicks and buttons away from my menu screen 0_0

Got goddamnit stressed while studying physics in school today and a friend of mine had to try to calm me down -.- I think she realizes now that others had better stay the hell away when I'm pissed off. lol. Not that I want to make them feel bad. JC physics makes you think beyond your mental boundaries...still trapped inside them I think. Gotta find a way to break these chains.

Is it because I just don't have what it takes to go further? I know I can, but everyday the many scenarios show that I can't. I feel I'm lagging behind most of the time, not because I don't give a damn about what's going on around me, but simply because I JUST DON'T GET! Its like someone explains something to me and I'm like "huh?" especially when it comes to friends explaining to me...if they explain to me two times and I still don't get it, I just tell them I understand...not good to waste their time. Teachers? Well, they explain once. yeah. once. Self dependence is something I've gotta learn in this two years ahead of me. Though support would be just great...this CA is going to knock some sense into me whether I do well or flunk it, I feel so. One thing, if I DO flunk it, my mum's going to go into one of her bragging speeches...saying you know...'see la, I knew it. everyday play play play play play. band band band. no wonder flunk your CA.' blah blah blah...etc etc etc...I don't want any of that. lol. Shall I do well just to escape that boring and somehow embarrassing situation...I have no idea.

'I have no idea' .

Seems to be a phrase commonly used by me now. I gotta start taking notice of everything. I have to wake up! (again) or I'll be onced again...trapped in a living nightmare. Oh wait. I've been living in one for...how long already? haha. don't ask.

And my final rant for today :

People who know me, people who stood by me, after knowing how badly I'm doing in school, I know what's swimming around in those minds of yours. Don't say I'm too dedicated to the Titans. Don't say I'm putting in too much time. You know why? Because I choose. I choose to be dedicated, I choose to make sacrifices though this is what I should actually forsake. Forever Titans.

 I woke up at 10:45 today....pretty grateful that I did, too, actually, since I'd been waking up early for the whole goddamnit week. I opened my eyes...den suddenly I thought of band. They know they're separating already...but still...the spirit gleams in their eyes. They're not worrying about it, which is a good thing.

I was actually wondering...what would I do and say at ROD this year?

What would I be doing with both schools for the rest of this year and next year...

This post is so random...I think I gotta stop putting every single thought into this blog or it might turn out to be a brain drain.

 Today was college day. Yay. A day when I had to wake up at 6 plus on a weekend. Boo. Nevermind. It was quite fun...not bad actually. I wouldn't say ALL of the practices for the performance paid off well, but it was a performance to be proud of, though not to die for. A friend of mine sitting on the second floor facing the stage said I looked sexy playing the timpani. what the f*** la. lol. Nobody's ever said that. -.-

Came home. play com. Halfway I felt my nose like wet wet. thought it was water or something. used my shirt to clean...den i smelled something weird...look down. see blood. -.- my shirt. full of blood. hahahaha. damn lame la. den my hand also got blood. dunno why but I felt nothing...not scared or anything. haha. I think I've seen too much blood in games to be afraid of that stuff. Just grabbed tissues and dabbed my nose...until it stopped. Must be the heat....I've been eating lots of chocolates and not replenishing my internal water supply too. Gotta take care of that from now onwards. The last time my nose bled was I think like...when I was in primary school. My cousin and I were messing around on my bed, den dunno how I smashed face first into on side of the bed (f***in lucky not the edge) den my nose bleed -.- long time back...long time. haha.

Memories of blood. weird isn't it?

I'm starting to think that this post is quite random -.- partly due to the fact that I'm chatting with people at the same time..I tend to lose my position and try to think of new stuff. Here I go to chat again....I'm back...I don't think those four dots can account for my time away from here though...

I found a new 'game' in my handphone. It's called musicdj. and I realized that I'm goddamnit outdated cuz it's been in sony ericsson phones since like k700i -.- by the way I made techno beats with it and it's damn fun. lol. It doesn't even take a musical genius to use...that---I like. haha.

*thinking of something to type*

Oh ya I thought I saw an estee lookalike in band today. just that she's alot taller...and her hair isn't as shiny. (hey, I take note of these little things too.) It wasn't until I got a closer look at her face when I realized that I've been an idiot all along -.- estee if you read this don't call me an idiot...it's okay. I already know.

Randomise, randomise, randomise. Terribly bored....exam next week...getting physics guide book tomorrow...spend money spend money spend money. Wanna watch MI3 and Da Vinci Code...pressed for time...pressed for time.

Time is never on my side 0.0

I'm done...again.

 Common test is next week...Econs and Physics t be specific, and I've only started studying today. Hey, if I had wanted to flunk my CT, I wouldn't have studied at all. You see, flunking the CT would reflect really badly on myself...first of all I wouldn't be showing that I've been attentive in school (which in some cases I haven't)...second of all I'd have to go for tuition. Not that I don't like tuition, but at A levels, one sub is more than two hundred bucks a month, and compared to others, that is cheap already. But two hundred a sub is gonna cost my mum a bomb...already one sub can eat a whole damn lot through her humble pockets. So the reason is really because I don't wanna spend too much of mum's cash, even if it's for my own good.

Speaking of Econs, I'm still lost in places...except the first part which is demand and supply. To tell you the truth, anyone who doesn't understand demand and supply has no common sense whatsoever...seriously. If you've got a working brain, you could understand it. It's as easy as spelling 'ECONS' backwards.

'SNOCE'

woah, i didn't know it would sound like something weird. lol. I'm gonna biang physics for the rest of the week...and not as much games for me. I'm already going easy on myself as it is...I shouldn't be playing games at all by right.

Piano lesson's comin in an hour's time and I haven't touched the piano since last week. Only did theory -.-"

What else am I supposed to say....oh yeah. Balloon Hat Fest. CY told me yesterday that he heard the BHF is on 13/14 june. WHAT THE F***! I thought it was like on the 4th. I specially got mum to schedule the japan trip AFTER BHF...and now well, I dunno. He did say that he might have been misinformed...so can someone please say he's wrong? Rewrote the drumline with tricks and gimmicks, made it much more appealing, exciting, awe inspiring and much less boring...repeat repeat repeat. Well this time it's full of solos and passes. Just you wait. I hope I can perform though.

I'm done.

Now this is something new...blogging from some classroom in school while skipping a two period lecture -.- anyway we've already finished all of the lecture material...so what's left is tutorials IN the lecture theatre...I mean what's the use. One teacher can't go around explaining questions to each and every student inside...and I think he'd go mad explaining the same question over and over again while hopping from one student to another.

Damn this keyboard is dusty. *checks* the ends of my fingers are blackening...-.-

Used the computer from 1 to 7pm, den 7:45 to 10pm...all playing FFVII. what the hell lah, I felt like a moron, first of all not doing something productive, second of all adding to mum's burden in terms of power bills.

Oops, there goes the bell. Don't worry. One more period left.

Back to the topic...I'm still at disc 1 in FFVII...playing FF can be a pain sometimes...very very very very long, but the rewards are priceless. The storyline is just so addictive. After I finish this (in...how long?) I'm gonna watch Advent Children...Don't wanna watch it now cuz I won't really understand without completing the game first. For those out there who've watched it and NOT played the game, you lose out. hahahahaha.

I wanna get a PS3 when it comes out, but right now I'm as poor as a beggar on the street (well maybe not.) I set a goal for myself : to play every FF game in the series from FFVII onwards. I've only completed FFVIII up till today. Twice, actually.

Places to go, sights to see...I'm off to Japan on the second (or late first) week of june...to Osaka, Tokyo, Kyoto and erm, one more place which I apparently forgot. The entire family's going, so it's gonna be one hell of a holiday. It's been a really long time since the whole family's gotten together and went overseas to anywhere further than Indo or Malaysia...which are two pretty lame places if you ask me. Mum asked me this morning if Canada was a good idea.

"I'm not touching America or any place near it. I'd prefer to live longer, thanks"

Seriously, I don't have any guts to travel to these places these days, where tension is still strong towards the Muslim people. Yeah, those who participate in those senseless slaughters are destined to be condemned to the deepest reaches of the abyss, but the rest, we can only sit back and curse at them as our social standing takes a nosedive in countries other than our own. Possibly, that is a fact. But as long as I'm here in singapore, I've no worries for my safety. Pays to have great harmony in a multi racial community on a large scale such as Singapore...

Yeah, so Japan's probably the confirmed place. One thing though, my mum's been just bent on going overseas during this June holiday, and she won't settle for somewhere nearby, so be assured...I'm going far away.

Some of you may wonder why I'm going missing sometimes. All I can say is I'm sorry for not providing you guys with visual entertainment all so often. Got my own reasons.

Till next time, pray for my swift arrival.

MIA for a few days already...actually wondering whether I should continue to do so. It's past 10pm and thank god I'm still at the computer. Mum expects me to go sleep anyway. Today left school at 12:50 together with everyone else....ponned the dragonboat thing. didn't care really.

sorry about this. mum's kicking up a hell of a fuss.

Going MIA a few more days. expect to see less from here.

Secrets untold, though some spoken...to a select few.

Go figure.

Let's take a trip back in time....to when I really had fun....together....

Why couldn't it last forever......

When times were so much better.......

Burdens light as a feather.........

but now

.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........

I couldn't help but feel worse about myself.

The true colours are so much harder to see...whatver the present picture will be...

Feelings kept closer and closer to me...

It's just greying out...sometimes I feel that it's just blackening...fade away...

Waiting for it

To just

Fade away.

No more carrying hopes for that one day

is there anyone else to whom I can say...

nevermind.




just fade away.

will the angels just leave me alone.

give me back my dreams...those I used to love and treasure

dreams I want to keep forever.

will the angels just leave me ALONE!

Out of nowhere, (or maybe was it somewhere?) I've found the motivation to STUDY. funny, because anyone would know me would think of me as

Khairul + STUDY = WTF!?!?

yes yes...I'm the kind who doesn't study much eh? But I realized, in this competitive and challenging environment I am in now... -.-" not studying will leave me down in the dumps and aspiring to become something quite impossible. Guessed it again. STUDYING (do I have to caps it all the time...well it seems weird on its own anyway) will, and has been, becoming a bidder for the little timeslots I have during weekdays. As for weekends, well I'm strict about having STUDYING taking up my well deserved free time, but I'm not saying it's not a possibility. great. -.-

I HATE MEDICINE BALLS! for any of you who has absolutely no idea what a medicine ball is. Try this. Get an empty basketball, and FILL IT WITH LEAD. I was lifting, carrying, and doing sit-ups with this nasty 4kg nightmare...lifting up and out, 40 times, lifting up with one hand, 40 times, sit ups 40 times, back arches while lifting the damn thing 40 times...WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!! lol. sorry for the over-ranting...mondays get me so pissed. haha. especially because of the PE period. one period, yes. but one period of absolute torture. never once has there been a monday without senseless aching and overwhelming exhaustion.. -.-

The entire two GP periods today were damn slack. The entire back row was discussing about ponning econs (the next two periods, last two of the day). before that during our one period break we were discussing about ponning SCHOOL. lol. 12:50pm. gates open. tempting? yes, but conscience kept us behind till the usual 3:30pm. hahaha. see, conscience kept me a good boy. Not that I really wanted to, though. Dunno why, but everyone was especially tired today...not a good sign. its only MONDAY!!! still got three days to go. Friday is vesak day, remember? But I got band from 3pm - 6pm -_____-" wednesday gotta hand in this application thingy for the committee in the band. Apparently EVERY J1 has to 'apply' for a place in the committee. isn't that just peachy. First I land in a band I have no emotion for, then you want me to try to serve it... oh, the world IS coming to an end. -.- forget it...I'll just come up with something unconvincing. =)

Speaking of which...band today was.... -.-" 2 percussionists and a bunch of other unwilling guys to move down percussion instruments from band room (2nd floor) to hall (equivalent of basement1). did it all in 20+ minutes...wayyyy behind schedule. They were a *little* more willing to bring up the instruments after band though. Just because they could only go home if they'd brought everything up already -.- nvm. Can't blame the mindset though. Isn't that how most people get their motivation nowadays anyway.

---------------------- this section is reserved for deep thought ---------

Finally gotten interest to play the guitar nowadays. main motivation? ability to play songs I like...like some soothing ones from FF8 and stuff, and others? sometimes I just make them up. lol. hey, its not crap okay. it sounds quite alright...though everytime I play it its just random -.- will I ever stop leaving things undone?

chen pei is pestering me for her present. -.- in progress okay. lol. I got no time...you'll get it on thursday. dun worry miss thick skin supreme. =)

many thanks to one and all for gracing this time to read up......farewell....and goodnight!

I suddenly have that urge to blog again, and I feel that I have a lot to say, a lot to get off my chest. But what binds me is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to say. Funny when you find yourself in this kind of situation. You feel as if you need to say something, yet when you're ready to do it, nothing comes out. Oh well. Looks like you guys won't be reading anything interesting today =)

Woke up at like...9am. AGAIN. even after coming home close to 1am last night and feeling like dropping dead right on top of my bed. I didn't care. I went straight back to sleep (kinda forced, is it?) and den the next time I woke up it was 11am. that's more like it...haha. I've had enough of automatically waking up early on days when I should sleep in. (well, actually nobody should sleep in till so late...it's just lazy.) speaking of that, I haven't had the chance to be soooo lazy in a long time. What I consider late days are days I end at 7pm (well, in this case, monday, wednesday, friday because of band at TPJC)...these kind of days put me off. lol. Just feel so tired.

But then again, something else to look forward to : ALUMNI PRACTICES have begun! starting this wednesday from 6pm to 9pm...and I can only reach at like latest 7:30? well at least I have an hour and a half to practice. Virginia virginia...gonna start listenin to that soon on WMP. The best way to know a song is by listening to it...over...and over again. haha. Come to think of it, it's by jacob de haan. AGAIN. lol. the past two years have been about jacob de haan, jacob de haan. haha. oh well.

Had alumni bbq at changi *fairy point* yesterday...damn, everybody thought it was *ferry point*. everyone was like worried about those comin straight to the chalet. I wonder how they'd tell the taxi driver. and it was damnit far in la. late at night it was damn dark...but still can walk out la. It was only that I wanted to stay longer....the cause of the usual 'why are you late?' and 'why are you giving me excuses again?' scoldings from my mum. Well when I reached home she was already asleep. purposely one la. lol. hear me come in den face de wall and sleep...i kena how many times liao. haha. but this morning okay le. She's always like that. A good night's sleep puts her in a good mood. Sleepless nights get me untimely lectures in the morning. And i'd be like..

"whats her prob...haha. must've gotten too little sleep last night"

yeah...I've lived with her long enough to just about understand how she is like. too bad if she's not perfect, but then again, who is? lol. I still remember the time when mum used to tell me

"look at chang yuan, always listening to his parents. always home on time and stuff. why can't you be more like him?"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! LOOK AT HIM NOW!!! LOL! dun go home also can...go home damnit late also can...late at night use com also can...go out as and when he likes..haha. HOW I WISH I COULD BE LIKE HIM NOW! lol. Of course, I was never like him. I don't tend to try to be like the rest...no matter how good or how advantageous their personal lives are...haha. that's me, and now you know =)

Eh. I said in the beginning that I couldn't blog about anything. lol. 6 paragraphs le. HAHAHA...damn I can be such an idiot sometimes.

Bits and pieces of yesterday's time at the chalet were spent listening to farzana brag about what she learnt in effective comm and her LOVELY TIMETABLE...lol. and how much of a wuss she thought I was just because she scared the jeepers out of me that night -.- ohhh...how I'd like to get back at her. forget it. she's not worth it. lol. keep doin well in school okay. DOING WELL IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! i get jealous sometimes. forgive me. hahahaha.

okay..that's just about it. bragging (or is it whining) about JC maths to estee now.. -.-

sports day today...booooring!!! dun wanna elaborate on how it went about. hahahaha. just slacked around till 11 plus when we could actually leave. bryan and raymond came over to my house to slack and apparently teach me how to play FF VII lol. it was a major disappointment la. can you imagine, the characters, made out of blocks, like lego characters, running around. and the limit breaks are far from imaginably impressive la. lol. nvm. pays to be disappointed once in a while.

speaking of disappointment, I came across a tk band member ( I HOPE ITS NOT REALLY A TK BAND MEMBER ) bitching at my tagboard. what the hell la. lol. like confucius said

"Only the wisest and the dumbest will never change"

I can see that in my tagboard.

Wisest = me, who refuses to argue
Dumbest = well, that guy, who keeps comin back for more despite friends of mine bombarding him with endless retaliation. hahahaha.

whoever you are, whether you are a genuine tk band member or not, just stop bitching around. if you ARE a tk band member, well, i am shocked and disappointed la. I do believe in every band there are one or two black sheep, but as the chinese saying goes (hai qun zi ma)...one black sheep spoils the image of the whole lot. so if you ARE a tk band member, just stop bitching around. I've seen enough bitching by band members in a certain someplace if you know what I mean. If you're a fan of bitching, then that place would be certainly familiar for you =)

anyway, I just wanna stop all the bitching here, alright?

One more thing, if that tk guy IS a band member, dammit, you've got like, one and a half months or two till the Finals? And if you think bitching about other people's bands at other people's blogs (you must've used some search engine to find a blog related to the Titans, didn't you?) is more important than concentrating on the matter at hand, what are you in the band for, anyway? Don't cost the image of your whole band, okay? I think you would know that better than I do, being you know, in the top display band for the past 8 years? Let's just let your performance decide whether what you say...carries any weight.

See you....when you've realized what's imperative. =)

Suddenly I realized...I've completely stopped having good dreams already. dunno where they've all gone to. I used to have nice, sweet dreams, dreams that gave me that fluttering feeling in the morning when I woke up. lol. I'd feel great the whole day. now I dream of weird things, mixtures of everything i'd done the previous day, especially when the previous day had band in it. But somehow that dream would be twisted and turned into something unimaginable...something I couldn't make sense of. And the thing is, none of those dreams had any real meaning. they told no story whatsoever. Somehow something inside me took those dreams, added salt, pepper and chilli and it became something else... -.- the other dreams I had...I was always running from something, den hiding, den when something else appeared, I'd be running again. Running away from something even in your dreams doesn't feel good at all.

How come my dreams have been so twisted lately? Not that they're evil or anything, but they don't make any sense at all. What happened to all those sweet dreams...sweet sweetness. -.-

But on the other hand, I think it's better not to have such sweet dreams. cuz when I have those dreams, I'd go to bed the following night hoping to have that same dream again. And when I did, the feeling got bigger. I'd be hoping for them every night...every night. And when there was one night that it didn't appear in my dreams...the following morning I'd feel weird...feel a bit bad. mood not as good as always. haha.

It's also ok not to have those dreams la..having too many good dreams puts you into some kind of fantasy world where your life depends on those dreams to survive...that's dangerous, seriously. Your heart feeds on feelings drawn from these dreams...when it's good, it wants more. When it's bad, it gets sick. that's how your mood changes I guess...at least in the dreams context, that is. I can say that I'm pulling away, if not already escaped from my fantasy world...where dreams had become my motivation, and feelings had ruled my life like a heartless dictator. Irony in that; it was my heart that gave me those feelings. Can I say that I've stopped relying on my heart to make decisions and gave it an alternative way to keep beating and keep my spirit alive...rather than let it feed on my boundless, meaningless emotions spawned by fantasies I thought I never had. Fantasies that were never made to be true...and never will be.

Single words...like love...and 'dreams' can mean so much, and have such influence on one's life. How can something so simple be able to complicate things beyond one's ability to control it. People, doctors, professors, have written books on love and dreams, but the thing is, are they really in full understanding of them? Do they really know the truth behind these things...are they able to predict each and every emotion brought about by these things; are they able to tell us what these things will do to us? well, some have been proven in their favour, but I believe...there's still much to discover about these two things. Especially love. I don't think anyone would say that they understand love the best. I don't. and I don't know when I will.

Not now, perhaps...not now.

dreams are pervasive...they grab you from reality. then put you back into it in pieces.

love is simple yet powerful. it puts you in this fantasy world...it can be like university; you try so hard to get in, but end up trying to get out =) but those who embrace it with open arms, pure of heart and soul. they will understand...love is a gift from heaven. it's simple, yet it lets you experience the extremes of emotion. important though, that you don't let yourself become a liability in love...or let love become a liability in that matter. =)

signing off...

apparently I've developed some kind of weird addiction to watching the 2006 SYF videos...all schools. hahaha. deyi rocks man. this year confirm get top band. that is, unless TK has something godlike up their sleeves. they always seem to have some. haha. but i still support deyi. I heard zack and deyi's DM can fight for the best DM award la if we had gotten into the finals. I totally agree. Other den deyi's DM, none other can beat zack. he's got the MOVES, he's got the ATTITUDE! cool man. no other can beat him. 110% sure.

I dunno if this is an overstatement because of my lack of judgement, but deyi's trumpeters are like...WOAH. outdoor sound man. SO clear and the articulation is so so fine even at very high notes. and even with that they can maintain their volume. *clap clap* well done. we'll be better in '08 okay. hahahahahaha...working towards our goal in '08...TOP DISPLAY BAND.

One very important thing that I realized on the bbq day. must be CONSISTENT! the only way we can improve well is to be consistent in our practice. such a simple thing as being consistent can mean so so much. yes. it does pay to be consistent!!!

okay...end here. hahaha. actually intended to talk about the addiction only =) well you know, the ideas just keep pouring out =D see ya around!

Sorry for not updating for so long!!! i've either been busy or lazy. hahahahaha. first up!

Percussion BBQ on saturday ROCKS!!! ROCKS ROCKS ROCKS!!! haha...it's been a long time since I've had so much fun.

First we met at 3pm at bedok interchange mac...the only seniors there were me farhan and shane lah...but by the time we left it was like 3:40 or 3:45? slowly walked towards the bus stop...den sonia came and offered us these weird sweets she got from god knows where. haha. A few of us popped it....

*AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

THE DAMN SWEET WAS SPICY! SPICY!!! who in the right mind makes SPICY sweets!?!?!? lol. it was damn funny la...and mavis was there like "HAHAHA KHAIRUL GOT PUNK'D" ...she does enjoy seeing me suffer...she's always been liddat. hahahaha...I forgive her. she still young LOL. okayy, so we caught bus number 9 (literally caught. shane had to run for it to get it to stop for us) went upstairs to the upper deck, and, as all Titans do, made a hell of alot of noise. hahaha. the good thing was that the only strangers there was this malay couple at the back who seemed to enjoy our madness. haha. the girlfriend was giggling away while me and khairi acted totally insane...lol. tell you ah, this is the first time making so much noise in a public place never made me feel embarrassed! hahahaha...lame, i know. and everybody was goin gaga over my new phone and god knows why... 0.0 -.- -___-" @_@ ?_? huifang was sittin at the back like soooo anti-social la. hahaha. dun say anymore. the better part comes later =)

ok so we got down at same ulu bus stop at the changi beach area...ulu because it was damn far in la...haha. we still had to walk for like, 10 minutes before we reached the pit. we were playing around, den when we passed this sort of like mini port there were a few soldiers with rifles...they saw us runnin around den said hey...dun run run la, later fall down. lol lame...I was runnin for my life from faizah cuz she was pinching me like no body's business. damn i think i still have the marks there from her fingers...walau. like some pontianak sinking her fingers into your flesh...hahaha. serious ok. *checks* oh they're gone. lol. There were a few low levelled palm trees or whatever in that area...where people were fishing. Sonia would get in front of one and pull one of the giant leaves...den let go when mavis was behind...HAHAHAH!!! MAVIS GOT PUNK'D!! lol. there was another couple...chinese...they were smiling and laughing at us also la...walau I think we really went mad over there. haha.

Then we reached the pit, there was syafiq, zack, qamar, aizuddin (did i spell correctly?), hafiz, ee woon and sherlina. Apparently they were already cooking lah...but i didn't know what. haha. some of us were still messing around with each other. oh and on that day. I remembered eating some of the FINEST hot dogs i've ever tasted. hahaha. dunno what the hell they did to them, but they were DAMN juicy and very very tasty. sufi bit into one and like the juice spurted out...haha. that's how juicy they were. When we finished eating the hot dogs it wasn't enough! we licked the skewers cuz they were covered in juice too...haha. insane la. zack had a hard time gathering them for a quick briefing about survival skills in changi beach. lol. I gave them one too. wanna hear it?

"Girls, if any guy tries to get funny with you, aim for their balls. works all the time."

haahahha....after that some of us went down to the beach. We were using long thick branches to draw letters in the sand to make words. Some drew their names. I helped draw

"TITANS ARE ON THIS ISLAND" or something like that. hahaha. I knew I was gonna get wet sometime or another so I went to keep my stuff first...den huifang, again, anti social, she was sittin somewhere further up drawing rainbows with a stick. lol. rainbows in the sand...the 7 colours are all...brown. lol. not so creative are we. haha. we had a hard time talking her into playing with us..haha. in the end everyone went over there and dragged her right into the fun! haha. after that she was like one of us already...haha. so we played soccer on the beach...damn, playing barefoot gave me a big blister on my right foot. haha. but who cares? played monkey with the soccer ball too...haha. I kena twice. then aqidah came with a tray...and on the trau there was a dead horseshoe crab!! haha. for those who dunno what it is, it looks like a stingray, but its got a shell and a DAMN sharp tail. so shane came and we were taking pics of it...haha lame. den we flipped it around to see its underside..lol. dun say sadistic la. its just curiosity. haha. then khairi started playing with a stick and spun it like a mace and tried doin zack's tricks. haha. den me and zheng wei joined in...i spin spin spin, den drop. lol. sad. zack saw us den he came over and show off can...haha. i have a stupid video of him doin his macework durin malaguena. haha. damn lame la. after that excitement blowed over, it was time to get WET!

zack and syafiq dived into the water, den me and sufi followed. the rest of the section were either playing on the beach and some were just watchin us from the shore cuz they had no extra clothes =) but khairi came in anyway cuz he had extra...haha. den all of us did wrestling moves on one another. haha. den I kena con again. syafiq called me he said he wanted to tell me smth. den when i got to him he grabbed me den zack or sufi grabbed me from behind. haha. in the end they hoisted me up by the shoulder and legs and threw me into the water...haha. ohhh...that seawater gushing up my nose. that was painful. hahaha. but still shiok! I remember me sufi and khairi occasionally stepping on something soft and squishy when we were in the water. disgusting man. haha. think its seaweed or something. other than that, i DUN WANNA KNOW. haha. Then we were just floating along with the waves...haha. everything we did that day was super lame la.

---> fast forward...

dinner time!!! everyone was sittin around eating, others just slacking, like playin the guitar and stuff. haha. It was time to relive my guitar learning days...haha. I dropped it after learning for a while two years ago. haha. long time hor. now i can strum hotel california! haha. not bad ok. only one night I learn already. haha. den syafiq put me in charge of marinating the food. haha. I was whacking the frozen pack of chicken with an IP drumstick...IP!!! haha. then mr poh, mr liang, wei siang, norman and wilson came over! come to eat only ah...haha. we were talking about the balloon hat fest...muahaha. DRUMLINE DUDES!!! JUST YOU WAIT! I GET TO PLAY THE SNARE AND MARCH AGAIN!!!!! =D before that we were playin the competition repertoire on a table. haha. damn fun. When i finally got the chicken open, I massaged them over and over again. I think I was standing there for a good 20 minutes just massaging the chicken. hahaha. hey I think it tasted good afterward can. haha. It was very dark and I had faizah hold a torch over the tray as I marinated it...haha. den Qamar (i think, was is qamar?) came back with ICE!!!! oh sweet cold glorious ice...haha. the drinks were warm before that la. not nice to drink. me and sufi emptied the ice into a container (we painstakingly filled it with water in the toilet before that) den stuffed the drinks in...soon after they were cold enough to drink...SHIOK!! Azwan came along to join us later in the night...

------> Fast Forward again =)

Slowly group by group of juniors left...all with you know, *take care* and *see you*...haha. felt good la. not like the usual half hearted ones. these ones were real, I know. Cuz after this bbq, not much chance of seeing them often again. speaking of which, there were people who didnt come. like faiz, ibrahim, hidayat, boon xian, shannon, mavis's sister (michelle...HAHA!). Maybe there were more, I can't really remember. hey, 32 people ok. lol. and given my goldfish memory...sorry la ok.

The rest of the night the only people who were left were hafiz, me, asyraf, sufi, zack, syafiq, azwan and aqidah. We spent that time just slacking around until syafiq and the others decided it was time to you know, really spend time together. haha. we moved the tents nearer to the beach then sat on one of the mats shane left behinnd. The rest of the night, we were telling ghost stories, sharing ghostly experiences and telling super duper lame jokes. hahaha. Sometimes even something scary can turn out in insane laughter. damn lame la. But there was one that zack told that really sent shivers down our spines...it was some suspense thing. The answer to the story has never been found. wanna hear it? okay. haha

"There was a little girl living in a big mansion somewhere in England. She had you know, servants and maids to take care of her and serve her, but she didn't really need them cuz she was really independent, even of her parents. So one night, her parents were leaving the house to see a show in town. And coincidentally all the servants and maids in the house weren't around. So her parents, knowing her independence well, trusted her to take care of herself while they were away. So that night, she was all alone in the house...alone.

She grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen after they left, and headed up to her room. She also had a dog, which followed her around everywhere she went. When she got into her room she went straight to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After she was done, she climbed into bed and began reading her storybook. Her dog was sitting just beside her on the bed.

While she was reading her book, she heard some dripping sound coming from the bathroom. She was thinking 'oh, I must've not closed the tap properly'. So she went into the bathroom, tightened the tap, then went back into her room. The dripping stopped. A minute later, she heard the dripping sound again. 'hmmm? I thought I tightened it already?' reluctantly, she went back to the bathroom, and tightened it further. The dripping stopped. This time, she patted her dog when she got into bed. Then the dripping started again. This time she was really irritated. 'what's wrong with the stupid tap? I've tightened it so many times already.' she went back inside and tightened the tap furiously, then marched back into her room. She patted her dog again, and it wasn't moving, so she assumed it was asleep.

Once again, the damn dripping sound started again! and it was louder than before. It sounded as if it was right beside her ear. She went into the bathroom and looked closely at the tap. There was no water dripping from it. But the dripping sound was still there! then she turned to her right, and realized that the sound was coming from the shower (the bathtub). But she also realized that the shower curtain was closed!

'thats funny, the last few times I came in here I don't remember seeing the shower curtain being closed.'

So she pulled it open....

The dripping noise got louder. She looked down and the bathtub was red. She looked up, and she saw her dog...hanging from the shower head, blood dripping from its body down into the tub. You think that's scary?

Here's the catch : If her dog was hanging from the shower head...

then what was that she was patting all along on her bed??











Muahahahahaha...scary right. I was damn scared at that moment can. lol. sometimes when we were telling ghost stories, like when syafiq shared with us his experiences during his three trips to OCH. yes, three! haha. sometimes there would be something running around, a mouse i think. and when it brushed against the tent it sounded like something zipping up. damn loud la. freaked us out. this continued until like, 5am...YES FIVE AM IN THE MORNING. hahaha...dun ask me why I never fall asleep okay. I know I sleep very early everyday. haha. it was nice spending time with them. Before that they said

"You come here overnight den sleep might as well go home right?"

haha. dunno who that was for la. lol. But when I mentioned sleeping early in the morning syafiq said that to me too. haha. by 5 am asyraf's eyes were damn red. so me azwan and asyraf went into the tent to catch some shut eye while the rest stayed up doin dunno wad. oh that was one of my worst moments. in that tent, I had like, 10 mosquito bites. and when i was tryin to sleep I heard buzzing near my ear. DAMN MOSQUITOES! lame la, so I was tossing and turning till like 6:45 before I decided to get up. damn tired la. haha. so I watched the sunrise with the rest of the gang...by sunrise some of them were down by the beach, checking out the low tide pools. disgusting la. I can't believe we were stepping and touching all that disgusting stuff when we were swimmin on saturday. haha. Nevermind, better to see than not know at all right. haha.

We cooked the rest of the chicken wings (some wasted by sufi and azwan cuz they were tryin to open the chicken packet, den it burst open and 5 or 6 dropped onto the floor. haha) a while later we packed up, and went home...

END OF STORY!!! haha. very tiring right. time to put eye drops...hahahaha. before you go, why dun u think about that story I told just now...muahahahahhaa. makes you wonder, doesn't it? =) see ya. !!