Just bored. Nothing to do, and I don't feel like studying...no mood, no energy. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow after coming home from school...got chinese listenin compre tomorrow. Just realized that my printer ink cartridge is out of black...probably depleted from printing the endless pages of the drumline score. Gotta get some by tomorrow if I'm to come up with the 2nd edition of the drumline by thursday. Also found out that there's no alumni band tomorrow -.- even more boredom.
Whats more, I've got TPJC band next week onwards on :
MONDAYS
WEDNESDAYS
and FRIDAYS!
hallelujah. joy to the world.
not that I'm excited about it or anything, it totally spoils my mood. lol. And there's band back at PY on mondays, thursdays and fridays starting next week too. I goddamnit hope band at TPJC ends at noon or somewhere around there, and there would be no goddamn sectionals after that...just in case anyone is having any bright peppy ideas to keep us behind...not that I'm against the idea. I've got other things to do! yes, you guys do too. forget it. lol. not worth arguing over, is it?
Yesterday was absolutely lovely...the entire drumline learnt the whole score inclusive of those excellent gimmicks by the toms. Toms...always coming up with bright, fresh ideas to bring up the spirit and pump up the fun. Bassses...too busy with their multiple. hahahahaha. only one cymbalist yesterday...huifang...and she was so blur with the score... snares have always been boring people. Not boring lah, actually. SERIOUS. muaha. I almost couldn't believe that they would be able to play their solo. Looks like I arranged the drumline just right this time. Though mr poh wants some changes to be made. My sentiments exactly. too boring in places. gotta come up with that by thursday...thats why i need my printer INK! I wonder if I could do a variation instead...based on that part, but a much nicer one. Oh well. It depends on whether inspiration chooses to find me, or I'd be spending hours empty minded trying to find IT. when it doesn't come it just doesn't come. I can't think when I don't have something to spur me. -.- are all composers like this?
lol i overshot my sms by 33 msges...resulting in an extra 1.60 -.- as if 1000 free sms isn't enough for me. gotta start watching it. troublesome la. my msg counter is like so many clicks and buttons away from my menu screen 0_0
Got goddamnit stressed while studying physics in school today and a friend of mine had to try to calm me down -.- I think she realizes now that others had better stay the hell away when I'm pissed off. lol. Not that I want to make them feel bad. JC physics makes you think beyond your mental boundaries...still trapped inside them I think. Gotta find a way to break these chains.
Is it because I just don't have what it takes to go further? I know I can, but everyday the many scenarios show that I can't. I feel I'm lagging behind most of the time, not because I don't give a damn about what's going on around me, but simply because I JUST DON'T GET! Its like someone explains something to me and I'm like "huh?" especially when it comes to friends explaining to me...if they explain to me two times and I still don't get it, I just tell them I understand...not good to waste their time. Teachers? Well, they explain once. yeah. once. Self dependence is something I've gotta learn in this two years ahead of me. Though support would be just great...this CA is going to knock some sense into me whether I do well or flunk it, I feel so. One thing, if I DO flunk it, my mum's going to go into one of her bragging speeches...saying you know...'see la, I knew it. everyday play play play play play. band band band. no wonder flunk your CA.' blah blah blah...etc etc etc...I don't want any of that. lol. Shall I do well just to escape that boring and somehow embarrassing situation...I have no idea.
'I have no idea' .
Seems to be a phrase commonly used by me now. I gotta start taking notice of everything. I have to wake up! (again) or I'll be onced again...trapped in a living nightmare. Oh wait. I've been living in one for...how long already? haha. don't ask.
And my final rant for today :
People who know me, people who stood by me, after knowing how badly I'm doing in school, I know what's swimming around in those minds of yours. Don't say I'm too dedicated to the Titans. Don't say I'm putting in too much time. You know why? Because I choose. I choose to be dedicated, I choose to make sacrifices though this is what I should actually forsake. Forever Titans.
Whats more, I've got TPJC band next week onwards on :
MONDAYS
WEDNESDAYS
and FRIDAYS!
hallelujah. joy to the world.
not that I'm excited about it or anything, it totally spoils my mood. lol. And there's band back at PY on mondays, thursdays and fridays starting next week too. I goddamnit hope band at TPJC ends at noon or somewhere around there, and there would be no goddamn sectionals after that...just in case anyone is having any bright peppy ideas to keep us behind...not that I'm against the idea. I've got other things to do! yes, you guys do too. forget it. lol. not worth arguing over, is it?
Yesterday was absolutely lovely...the entire drumline learnt the whole score inclusive of those excellent gimmicks by the toms. Toms...always coming up with bright, fresh ideas to bring up the spirit and pump up the fun. Bassses...too busy with their multiple. hahahahaha. only one cymbalist yesterday...huifang...and she was so blur with the score... snares have always been boring people. Not boring lah, actually. SERIOUS. muaha. I almost couldn't believe that they would be able to play their solo. Looks like I arranged the drumline just right this time. Though mr poh wants some changes to be made. My sentiments exactly. too boring in places. gotta come up with that by thursday...thats why i need my printer INK! I wonder if I could do a variation instead...based on that part, but a much nicer one. Oh well. It depends on whether inspiration chooses to find me, or I'd be spending hours empty minded trying to find IT. when it doesn't come it just doesn't come. I can't think when I don't have something to spur me. -.- are all composers like this?
lol i overshot my sms by 33 msges...resulting in an extra 1.60 -.- as if 1000 free sms isn't enough for me. gotta start watching it. troublesome la. my msg counter is like so many clicks and buttons away from my menu screen 0_0
Got goddamnit stressed while studying physics in school today and a friend of mine had to try to calm me down -.- I think she realizes now that others had better stay the hell away when I'm pissed off. lol. Not that I want to make them feel bad. JC physics makes you think beyond your mental boundaries...still trapped inside them I think. Gotta find a way to break these chains.
Is it because I just don't have what it takes to go further? I know I can, but everyday the many scenarios show that I can't. I feel I'm lagging behind most of the time, not because I don't give a damn about what's going on around me, but simply because I JUST DON'T GET! Its like someone explains something to me and I'm like "huh?" especially when it comes to friends explaining to me...if they explain to me two times and I still don't get it, I just tell them I understand...not good to waste their time. Teachers? Well, they explain once. yeah. once. Self dependence is something I've gotta learn in this two years ahead of me. Though support would be just great...this CA is going to knock some sense into me whether I do well or flunk it, I feel so. One thing, if I DO flunk it, my mum's going to go into one of her bragging speeches...saying you know...'see la, I knew it. everyday play play play play play. band band band. no wonder flunk your CA.' blah blah blah...etc etc etc...I don't want any of that. lol. Shall I do well just to escape that boring and somehow embarrassing situation...I have no idea.
'I have no idea' .
Seems to be a phrase commonly used by me now. I gotta start taking notice of everything. I have to wake up! (again) or I'll be onced again...trapped in a living nightmare. Oh wait. I've been living in one for...how long already? haha. don't ask.
And my final rant for today :
People who know me, people who stood by me, after knowing how badly I'm doing in school, I know what's swimming around in those minds of yours. Don't say I'm too dedicated to the Titans. Don't say I'm putting in too much time. You know why? Because I choose. I choose to be dedicated, I choose to make sacrifices though this is what I should actually forsake. Forever Titans.
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