Suddenly I realized...I've completely stopped having good dreams already. dunno where they've all gone to. I used to have nice, sweet dreams, dreams that gave me that fluttering feeling in the morning when I woke up. lol. I'd feel great the whole day. now I dream of weird things, mixtures of everything i'd done the previous day, especially when the previous day had band in it. But somehow that dream would be twisted and turned into something unimaginable...something I couldn't make sense of. And the thing is, none of those dreams had any real meaning. they told no story whatsoever. Somehow something inside me took those dreams, added salt, pepper and chilli and it became something else... -.- the other dreams I had...I was always running from something, den hiding, den when something else appeared, I'd be running again. Running away from something even in your dreams doesn't feel good at all.

How come my dreams have been so twisted lately? Not that they're evil or anything, but they don't make any sense at all. What happened to all those sweet dreams...sweet sweetness. -.-

But on the other hand, I think it's better not to have such sweet dreams. cuz when I have those dreams, I'd go to bed the following night hoping to have that same dream again. And when I did, the feeling got bigger. I'd be hoping for them every night...every night. And when there was one night that it didn't appear in my dreams...the following morning I'd feel weird...feel a bit bad. mood not as good as always. haha.

It's also ok not to have those dreams la..having too many good dreams puts you into some kind of fantasy world where your life depends on those dreams to survive...that's dangerous, seriously. Your heart feeds on feelings drawn from these dreams...when it's good, it wants more. When it's bad, it gets sick. that's how your mood changes I guess...at least in the dreams context, that is. I can say that I'm pulling away, if not already escaped from my fantasy world...where dreams had become my motivation, and feelings had ruled my life like a heartless dictator. Irony in that; it was my heart that gave me those feelings. Can I say that I've stopped relying on my heart to make decisions and gave it an alternative way to keep beating and keep my spirit alive...rather than let it feed on my boundless, meaningless emotions spawned by fantasies I thought I never had. Fantasies that were never made to be true...and never will be.

Single words...like love...and 'dreams' can mean so much, and have such influence on one's life. How can something so simple be able to complicate things beyond one's ability to control it. People, doctors, professors, have written books on love and dreams, but the thing is, are they really in full understanding of them? Do they really know the truth behind these things...are they able to predict each and every emotion brought about by these things; are they able to tell us what these things will do to us? well, some have been proven in their favour, but I believe...there's still much to discover about these two things. Especially love. I don't think anyone would say that they understand love the best. I don't. and I don't know when I will.

Not now, perhaps...not now.

dreams are pervasive...they grab you from reality. then put you back into it in pieces.

love is simple yet powerful. it puts you in this fantasy world...it can be like university; you try so hard to get in, but end up trying to get out =) but those who embrace it with open arms, pure of heart and soul. they will understand...love is a gift from heaven. it's simple, yet it lets you experience the extremes of emotion. important though, that you don't let yourself become a liability in love...or let love become a liability in that matter. =)

signing off...