I'm Sorry

Sometimes I'm just insensitive to your needs..

Sometimes I do things which you consider to be not worth doing..

Sometimes I wish I could be more aware of what you need from me..

But everyday I know I can be better than I was the day before, because I know you love me.



Sometimes I don't realize you're there..

Sometimes I seem as if I don't care..

Sometimes I don't show how much you mean to me really..

But everytime I know you're here with me and I cherish you with my all my heart completely.


I sometimes wonder what I'd do without you..

What I would become if you weren't there to guide me..

Though I know every ounce of your love and trust has been showered on me..

But then again sometimes I just seem unworthy.


It's a gift that I've been longing to have..

It's the chance to earn something that is rarely shared..

It's the  ability to love someone more dearly than his life alone..

It's my chance to love you.



Sometimes I feel like I wanna cry..

Every hint of sadness from you, it tears me apart..

I wished very much to have you by my side..

Because I know there's something we share that will never die..



I want you to know

That even when sometimes, I don't really show

I love you with all my heart,

That love is something that never died, and never will.




i love you...samantha

yo people! its been a good few days since I last blogged...and I do know that some of you are just dying to see what I've been up to for the past few days. but here's the nice part :

HAHA NOTHING MUCH =D

except for the fact that I'll be in the VP's office having a little chat with our most linguistically articulated fellow in TPJC over a matter that has dragged on as far as I can remember. Yes, skipping band practices =) well, it's nothing much, really. Just going to discuss the whatevers and the whichevers, followed by the howevers and the furthermores. I hope it doesn't bore me to death, because I have a distinct feeling that it probably will. Might as well write up my Will now because my death certificate is going to read : Death by Boring Counselling.

Well today had PE...my stamina was nowhere to be found today. Only ran 3 rounds, last round chiong, den did 20 pushups, 40 crunches and 20 leg raises. Liddat only I had a near death experience liao. after that Commando Lee decided to play the nice old chap and let us play soccer for the rest of the period. I was in absolutely no condition to play lah. Chest damn tight, from midfield drop back to defender, drop again to sitting behind the goalpost =D

Ah yes, dear came by my house yesterday. Seems now she can only come by on Thursdays cuz I have band on 1-3-5. well monday I got detention for STILL not handing up my reading log (which has been dragging on since November last year =D) ahhhh heck it. Will try to do something about it sometime soon. SOMETIME SOON OK!!! 

knnbccb this bloody Blogger screwing up on me again.

will probably post later............

LOVES TO MY DEAREST!!!!!! =D i know you miss me =)

Today's CNY performance was not so bad! though school kinda sucked today because we had three periods of lesson in the morning...two periods of maths...with chokky (lim chok peng) as our beloved teacher...then a period of GP with our other much appreciated sexist GP tutor. After that there was a one period break...for us to play cards. lol. I'm starting to take a liking to dai dee again, just like the old times during the first three months where we'd waste away our days playing cards in empty classrooms...doors closed, lights off.

there was a yoyo performance today which totally rocked. damn good sia! and there was this male singer from god knows where who sang this god knows what song, but he was damn good. there was another item comprising a guy and two girls, singing Jay Chou's Shan Hu Hai. the guy sing damn nice, the girls come in and the whole song hong gan. wasted. gotta applaud all those who performed today! great job!

after school went kfc to makan with boon, khoon, jem and bryan...had a Zinger this time, instead of my usual 2 piece chicken meal. Didn't really want to get my hands dirty lah, so settle for something less finger intensive and cheaper.

dear came and all my friends were like so excited about her. they did mention me being super kan chiong while playing cards during lunch before she arrived. People anxious for gf to arrive right...how do you expect me to be calm? hahaha. sorry =)

then we left...for century square...then tampines mall, before deciding that a movie was out of the agenda for today. no.1 : too many people, no.2 : the timings sucks no. 3 : well...there is no no.3...i think it only applies to me. The movies suck too. lol. everyone was talking about Epic movie. what the hell lah. I hated the scary movie series, and now epic movie? dun wan to spend money watching lousy spoofs. haha. I'd rather watch something meaningful.

So, we ended up at the MRT station, taking a train to Pasir Ris. For what? Go PASIR RIS PARK! uufoooo!!!! not a bad place lah, albeit today the weather was scorching. Had to take off my shirt to avoid becoming fried yalam. try reading backwards if you're lost with 'yalam' . We spent some time at the playground playing on the spider web...haha dear was damn funny lah, couldn't get to the top. too old liao. hahaha! I was very worried about having her up there cuz in the bus she told me that she had fallen from there before...I had to make sure I was beside her every step of the way up. In the end only I got to the top lah....den swinged back down like a malay Tarzan.

After that we took a little stroll to the breakwater to enjoy the breeze, before going down to the beach to make a few things...here they are! the huge heart was my idea! =)



this was done by dear...kinda looks like a retarded dollar sign right. hahaha
 

oh yes....this one too!
 

not much else, except I got to play on the swings after a long long time! it felt good. haha. though the swings didn't go high enough for my liking. the ones at my old house area was l33t man, can swing till you siao.

okay, ending here le. tmr got soccer again! Felix said it was at 8am...but any idiot knows going at 8am would make him the first to arrive. I'm going at 9am. hahaha. Hope I don't get rammed onto the ground like I was two weeks ago. that day was hiong lah, so many injuries. haha. wish me luck!!!

[[give me one day to watch the sunset with you; that day would last into eternity.]]

Today's Valentines' Day!!!!!!!! 

today I decided to blog in red...since you know...valentines' day = love = red...that kinda thing. lol. hmmm well today luckily I had no extra classes after school, so I could make it over to dear's school for her well planned surprise! muahahahhaa....ok lah, maybe not so well planned, but good enough okay!

Seriously, I wanted to huge bear bouquet, but the price was robbery I tell you. ah forget it nvm. hahaha.

I wanna do up the third chapter of the Autumn story today...but my mind's kinda blank leh. Dunno if  I can do anything about it. hahaha. MUST DO SOMETHING! I know like so many people come to my blog JUST to read it...thankew thankew...I know I'm a good writer...like sucks. lol!



I just wanna say...well...what I'm gonna say, I say everyday liao. Like I said, for a couple of lovebirds, everyday's a fitting valentines' day. muahahaha. so if you want to know my dedication to her for today, go ask her yourself =D

and now...time to go work on Chapter 3......cheers!

Woot! I just finished up the second chapter of the Autumn story, if anyone's interested...its in the last section of my blog. it's much longer...and I must say I'm happier with this chapter...cuz I felt like I could write it better than the first, and definitely better than any other essay I've done in JC. lol. Not secondary school, though. Those were the golden ones. hahahaha. bhb a bit okay.

Had detention today from 4:30pm to 6pm...damn sian dah. I gotta hand in my reading log soon if I don't want to find myself back in LT2 spending and hour and a half doing nothing. Well got stuff to do lah, but I finish damn fast. Well anyway next monday is Chinese New Year holiday...so no school. But better finish it up anyway. haha. Super lazy lah, dun really feel like doing.

Today's me and dear's first month! I shall not post the four message long sms I sent to dear this morning. It's private and confidential and if you guys wanna know.....pay me. LOL! nah, you will never get it out of me. haha. I love you dearest =)

[[ there's something in this world that will never change and that's the fact that I love you =) ]]

Okay I just finished the first chapter for my autumn story in the last section of my blog...pardon the apparent lack of colourful vocabulary...you know, the kind I used back in secondary school? I just haven't had enough practice since the O levels. hahaha. english standard deteriorating, though I just typed a 5-syllable word back there.

I wonder if it'll be good enough for me to make it stay up there. haha. I really want this story to be special. Not only for me, but for darls too =)

Maybe one of these years to come...I'll take her to Japan or Korea to see the cherry blossoms in bloom...the real thing. I bet that would be nice. haha. But that, like any other dramatic fantasy, may be just a dream that would never turn to reality.

Okay, now I've got two choices of work after university life : Aerospace engineer...or banker? lol. I really don't know which path to take. And I've got about a year left? or less? I have to decide which faculty to go to in university (that is, if i make it there lol) according to the field of work I choose...I dunno if I can decide.

Oh well, time will tell! cheers!

hey guys! if you're sharp enough, you'd notice I changed my blogskin...took me a while to figure 
out how to put in pics of me and dear...

well, this is dedicated to dear!!! cuz its kinda special to her and me. sorry lah, i know I didn't exactly make this blogskin on my own; I'm a noob at coding. Perhaps I'd make one just for her some time in the near future!!! I just want her to know how special she is to me and that I always want her to be happy, have faith, and STAY AWAY FROM SPICY FOOD! =D

hahaha I think I post later ba, my mum is making a lot of noise cuz I've tuition in 10 minutes and I haven taken my bath =D

hello people!!! in case you all haven't noticed I haven been online for the past few days! 
remember when I kept complaining about my hard drives being corrupted? well that's
sorta been settled already. my power supply came back from being sleeved with UV
sleeving last night too, so pretty happy with the fact that my rig is up and running again.
tmr gonna buy more UV cold cathode lights to brighten up the interior!

today O level results were out! truth be told, I was just as anxious as any other graduate
waiting for their results...most of all I wanted to know if samantha would do as badly as
she said she would! of course I didn't believe she would lah, in the end she got...

L1R5 = ..........................................12 points!!!!

so proud of her dahh...though she didn't get lower than me, I know she did her best already
cuz her papers were more difficult than the ones I took in my year. remember? turn over
page den can laugh liao...lol!

yarrrr, so today was college road run, went for nothing lah. wake up at 6am to go, in the end
our class turned it into the college road walk. lol. walk the whol stretch of 3km...I think we
were the last group of people to finish lol. heck care lah. after that went parkway to eat.
I had my very first meal at yoshinoya! lol. the beef rocks man, tender and super juicy. yoshi
has been added to my makan places list! after that went to play pool with bryan..the rest all
buay steady dun wan to do anything just go home. so I played pool with him till 3pm ( I played
like crap today lah) then took a bus to bedok to meet dear at her school!

she was so darn high lah, so excited over her results...and I met xiaoping and carissa too after
such a long time. my did they look different. hahaha. the change in hair colour really made a
difference! but they were quite happy with their results lah...so I'm happy for them too. haha.
we stayed for band for a while, then went off at 5 plus...took double decker 9 home!!! too bad
it was a little 'too' crowded...dear should know best. we hate crowded buses. =)

okay...so tmr got band...meeting dear at 10am at bedok interchange den we go together...
wonder if she'll still be in her spirited mood tomorrow morning...or will she be yawning and
stretching like the pig she is...muahahahaha...

till next time, cheers!

[loves to my dearest =)]

Okay I've finally made the move to new blogger...looks better. dunno why people are reluctant to
make the change. okay I've gotta press enter to start a new line everytime my words end at the 
extreme right of this box...so irritating. FIRST BAD IMPRESSION OF NEW BLOGGER! no wait,
or is it just me? hahaha.

well nothing much has been goin on in school, except today there was PE and I forgot to wear my
PE shorts despite having my PE shirt on -.-" retarded, right? let me remind you guys, this is the
roadmap of infantility:

stupid < idiot < moron < retarded < dumb (highest point of infantility) I'm one step away!!! woohoo!!! okay lame...nevermind. at least someone else is there with me too  =D okay this 'starting a new line at every extreme point' thing is really getting on my nerves... today went kfc with keith and boon chin after school to makan...apparently boon didn't want to  get his hands (or mangy paws) dirty by ordering a 2 piece chicken meal like me and keith did.. so he stuck with a Zinger meal...pussy. lol. after that went to give back the year book which I mistakenly took to be my own...to Charlie back at school. then had to make a turnabout and go  back to tampines interchange to meet dear cuz she wanted to go simei to get her shorts =) so we went to eastpoint...we were crapping all the way lah and this roll of coloured vanguard  paper was our weapon used to knock each other on the head...lol. she lah, keep crapping and crapping. not my fault okay! hahaha I admit I'm full of nonsense at times..but hey, that's why  you love me xD [you are super automatic nowadays! only you know what that means..hehe] den sent her home...took the long way around by the other side of her estate...haven't gone that way for a nong nong time...nice feeling. though the plants growing out of order were a little annoying at times...the gardens there look more like mini-forests threatening to grow out of  control! now dear is at her church for some Life group thingy...and my windows live messenger is cocking up due to my corrupted hard drive...IRRITATING LAHHHHH!!!! nvm shall not rant about it today...I do so everyday already lol. Waiting anxiously for her to finish so we can continue chatting...no wait...crapping. lol! alright, I guess that's it then. my first post on new blogger! [love love love! =)]