Okay it's 10:11pm on my clock and frankly I'm quite pissed.

First, I see my friend's msn nick, saying 4 Sept ORD. He must have gotten clearance for his shoulder operation and so managed an earlier ORD date. He would've ORD-ed in about December otherwise.

Second, there's some kind of 7th Lunar Month auction/dinner going on at MY VOID DECK and the host is making a fuckload of noise shouting through the god damn microphone. SHOUTING! Seriously, why can't you just pay your respects and fuck off?

Third, I am not liking life in Band C although I'm taking everything pretty well. It's not that I'm not adapting or I'm totally lost. I...well...don't like it. Period.

Fourth, CARMEN TAN is not online due to exams and I don't expect her to be for quite a few days!!!!! I need to laugh.

Fifth, the host just increased his shouting volume.

=.=

I went to ACSJ today for my cousin's church's worship session + sermon. This caucasian couple from overseas came to perform with the worship band and they were great.

I must say it was my first time stepping out of my comfort zone, placing myself admist these people I once considered alien and somewhat disillusioned. But I couldn't be absolutely sure unless I tried it for myself, and I now stand corrected. At least partially.

Yeah, the way they worship and sing praises to their Lord seems cheesy, but you know, it's just their way. They aren't afraid to give themselves totally to Him, to lift themselves up into His Hands and worship His Name in their own way.

And for the first time being in such a holy communion, I felt good as well as uncomfortably awkward. First steps are always like this, I suppose. I mean come on, how can you not feel good in a place filled with genuine warmth and welcoming gestures despite knowing, somehow, that you're not supposed to be there? I feel good at mosque too, although that's more of a peaceful feeling than one of particular mirth.

In any case, I feel proud to have surmounted this spiritual challenge, of sorts, and gone to show my support for my cousin.

On a funnier note, all of the people there who met and shook hands with me, mainly the ushers, had a hard time catching and pronouncing my name. One even went as far as to spell it out as 'Cairo', while the Reverend himself couldn't make the connection between my mum and I. hahaha..weird, but I suppose they don't see many people with a Muslim name in a church service anyway. Here's the irony : the foreign couple (probably Australian or American, I'm not sure) recognized and pronounced my name correctly the first time. Strange...

I really wonder if today's event was the beginning of my baby steps toward a possible transformation...it seems as though I can only turn to my cousin Yilin for support if I have any doubts regarding this issue. My mum is...how should I say, a bit too biased and strongheaded for me at this time.

I shall continue to be my skeptic self and see if this little sidetrack will take me to yet another dead end, or into another vast, unpredictable journey in which, somehow, I can only see good things.

Perhaps, perhaps.

Currently undergoing mental conversion to mode : "Don't know, I don't care, whatever."

Expected duration of change : 5 and a half months

Temporary overrides effective only in case of interesting duties during period of execution.

Priority level increases when under influence of designated undesirables.

Monday is the day I become truly...brain dead.

This is my final leg in what has been the longest endurance run in an organization for which I have developed a vehemence so deep it's become a scar in my memory.

Toss them right in, along with the others, please.

I am still in pain...

And I still think I don't deserve the medal.

Bah. It's over already, anyway.

Just finished watching The Passion of the Christ. Really old movie, but I only regret not watching it sooner.

I can't say much about the historical authenticity of the events portrayed in the movie, but what I can say is that from the scene of Jesus' flogging till the end of the movie, I actually had to keep myself from bursting into tears at any moment. It's a truly heartwrenching string of events, aside from feelings of disdain and anger due to the brutality of the Roman soldiers and the Phariseean (sp?) priests.

I wonder if I should tell my mum I have it. I might just find myself walking into my room a few days later with my mum staring at the computer screen, a few empty tissue boxes beside her. No, I'm not being sarcastic. This movie's a real tear jerker, no kidding.

Dragonica, dragonica, dragonica...and AHM this sunday.

Needless to say, I've been a sorry excuse for a human being.

There seem to have been some...slight complications. Now I'm pretty sure that I'll only be thanking four people, not including those from my batch and my friends, at the next ORD function.

This is not exciting. Not one bit.