Spent my Saturday in camp, wasting my time away in the bunk waiting for today to arrive. Fortunately I had 11 episodes of Heroes in my psp and a new book which served as my rather effective escapism for the day.
I've finished watching the first season of Heroes! Yeah I know, I'm wayyyy slow. But at least I'm working on it. I'm also almost halfway through my new book, The Six Sacred Stones. It's a little cheesy, and I have to admit the author's gone a little over the edge in terms of reality. Maybe it's not my ideal kind of conspiracy read, but I'll still finish it anyway. I think I'll either move back to Steve Berry or try something else the next time I set foot in Borders or Kino.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel...lonely yesterday. I usually get that feeling when I'm stuck in that building with just two others. I didn't really feel as empty as I used to, being in my bunk alone for the whole day and night. Sometimes I found myself standing and staring into space considering my predicament : "I'm alone but I don't feel lonely. hmmm." No, I'm not being dramatic. It's just that I'm not someone who's used to being alone. Well, maybe I was, but not anytime recently as I recall.
Sleep was difficult. I put down my book at around 10:30pm, turned off all the lights and tried to go to sleep, playing Crack The Shutters in my head over and over until I gave up and realized I needed to hear it for real, so I stuck my earpiece in and played it. Then I realized it was keeping me awake, so I tossed it aside, forced my eyes shut and silently prayed for sleep to whisk me away. It did, and the next thing I knew it was 5:51am. Went back to sleep again and woke up at 7:15. For the first time sleeping alone in my bunk I hadn't had paranoid thoughts about something coming to haunt me or give me some kind of heart stopping scare. I guess I just didn't have the capacity to think of such things anymore. haha.
I read a few quotes from my new book which I found particularly interesting...just thought I'd share.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
To see things in the seed, that is genius.
Health is the greatest possession,
Contentment the greatest treasure,
Confidence the greatest friend,
Non-being the greatest joy
There are three paths to wisdom : the first, by reflection, which is the noblest; the second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.
While it can never never replace the real one, you can make a new family with your friends.
The greatest thing to fear, as always, is man himself.
These came from Heroes :
To save what is most important, one must be strong enough to cut out his own heart
Death is the one thing that connects us all. It reminds us that what's really important is who we've touched and how much we've given. It makes us realize that we have to be good to one another.
I think I'm going through some kind of identity crisis. haha. funny, eh? For the first time in my life I've actually felt the need to find myself and decide and believe who I really am. The fact that I've succumbed involuntarily and inevitably to change leads me to believe that I've almost or already become someone else, and it's important that I know who this person is, this new person I see in the mirror everyday, and adjust to what I've become before I can continue living this life.
Maybe I just need to find and do something I used to love in the past, in the 6 years of my absolute prime before I started living life in the fast lane, where everything started to move so quickly and sometimes inconspicuously that I'd never noticed the things I'd missed along the way. I know that it's impossible to go back. I've told someone that before and I meant it. I just need to find a way to understand this new shadow, the one I started casting only recently. It's difficult, not being able to go back, nor move forward. Being stuck. That's life I guess...people change, or are changed, by such circumstances as time and environment. I cannot be stuck in this position forever, or for long, for that matter.
But moving on or not, I know there's one thing that's not going to change. Not anytime soon.
I've finished watching the first season of Heroes! Yeah I know, I'm wayyyy slow. But at least I'm working on it. I'm also almost halfway through my new book, The Six Sacred Stones. It's a little cheesy, and I have to admit the author's gone a little over the edge in terms of reality. Maybe it's not my ideal kind of conspiracy read, but I'll still finish it anyway. I think I'll either move back to Steve Berry or try something else the next time I set foot in Borders or Kino.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel...lonely yesterday. I usually get that feeling when I'm stuck in that building with just two others. I didn't really feel as empty as I used to, being in my bunk alone for the whole day and night. Sometimes I found myself standing and staring into space considering my predicament : "I'm alone but I don't feel lonely. hmmm." No, I'm not being dramatic. It's just that I'm not someone who's used to being alone. Well, maybe I was, but not anytime recently as I recall.
Sleep was difficult. I put down my book at around 10:30pm, turned off all the lights and tried to go to sleep, playing Crack The Shutters in my head over and over until I gave up and realized I needed to hear it for real, so I stuck my earpiece in and played it. Then I realized it was keeping me awake, so I tossed it aside, forced my eyes shut and silently prayed for sleep to whisk me away. It did, and the next thing I knew it was 5:51am. Went back to sleep again and woke up at 7:15. For the first time sleeping alone in my bunk I hadn't had paranoid thoughts about something coming to haunt me or give me some kind of heart stopping scare. I guess I just didn't have the capacity to think of such things anymore. haha.
I read a few quotes from my new book which I found particularly interesting...just thought I'd share.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
To see things in the seed, that is genius.
Health is the greatest possession,
Contentment the greatest treasure,
Confidence the greatest friend,
Non-being the greatest joy
There are three paths to wisdom : the first, by reflection, which is the noblest; the second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest.
While it can never never replace the real one, you can make a new family with your friends.
The greatest thing to fear, as always, is man himself.
These came from Heroes :
To save what is most important, one must be strong enough to cut out his own heart
Death is the one thing that connects us all. It reminds us that what's really important is who we've touched and how much we've given. It makes us realize that we have to be good to one another.
I think I'm going through some kind of identity crisis. haha. funny, eh? For the first time in my life I've actually felt the need to find myself and decide and believe who I really am. The fact that I've succumbed involuntarily and inevitably to change leads me to believe that I've almost or already become someone else, and it's important that I know who this person is, this new person I see in the mirror everyday, and adjust to what I've become before I can continue living this life.
Maybe I just need to find and do something I used to love in the past, in the 6 years of my absolute prime before I started living life in the fast lane, where everything started to move so quickly and sometimes inconspicuously that I'd never noticed the things I'd missed along the way. I know that it's impossible to go back. I've told someone that before and I meant it. I just need to find a way to understand this new shadow, the one I started casting only recently. It's difficult, not being able to go back, nor move forward. Being stuck. That's life I guess...people change, or are changed, by such circumstances as time and environment. I cannot be stuck in this position forever, or for long, for that matter.
But moving on or not, I know there's one thing that's not going to change. Not anytime soon.
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