Everyday halfday, slacker, who says, not me, no way, still taking...halfdays.
Going out tonight with cy, qz and mum to 'celebrate' this thing i have called a 'birthday' which is like next week so its still early...Big deal. Just a birthday. For me, I mean. I still take my friends' birthdays seriously!
No, I don't think I've any profundity in me today. Not the slightest bit. I guess its just one of those days where I laugh too much, smile too wide and as a result I transform back from the compulsive thinker to just...me. Happy go lucky, worryless, laid back, lazy...me. Is it the worse side? I don't know myself. haha.
I keep wondering if there are sides of me that even I haven't discovered yet. Then again, how do I look for them if I don't know what I'm looking for? I guess its just when things happen and the ways in which you react to those situations reveal to you more of your inner self than you'd ever imagine.
Experience...has this tendency to change a person. People are inclined to live their lives under the close guidance of past experience, especially if those experiences were negative in nature. Is it possible to continue living life as it were whilst keeping those experiences close to you, but not allowing them to alter yourself as a whole? It's difficult to allow change when you realize certain experiences spawn sides of you you'd rather people not see. They begin to question, to doubt, to ostracize, to fear and quite possibly begin to lose trust. Self control? Selective conditioning? It all seems deeply complicated. And is it even necessary in the first place? You hide your demons even when people already know you're capable of releasing them...they start to look at your differently as a result.
So much for no profundity.
I wonder if I've changed much over the past few weeks. Suddenly I see being brutally honest as a trait rather untactful in nature. I don't think it's the same as being straightforward. Being straightforward is being direct and transparent, but the words that come out don't always have to result in hurt feelings. Being brutally honest is different. The term says it all. No, not honest. Brutally. Has a darker side of my spawned somewhere inside and am I trying to drive it back down to the oblivion from which it emerged?
The Christmas season is here...and!!!!! I don't feel all 'christmas-y' inside. Oh, the anticipation of going out with friends and coming home the next morning...the food, the fun, the laughter, the holiday spirit!!! not. Nope. Don't get the vibe.
We should be having some kind of Christmas concert instead of some performance at TTS Hospital. Yeah, the one I'm not involved in. I think Christmas songs are so wonderful and they really bring out the spirit in people. We should be sharing this spirit at the Esplanade!! Seems to me this Christmas is going to be as much of a disappointment as all the others I've had. So...discouraging.
Friday + Wheelock Sakae + Atiqzzz = Happy day!
Going out tonight with cy, qz and mum to 'celebrate' this thing i have called a 'birthday' which is like next week so its still early...Big deal. Just a birthday. For me, I mean. I still take my friends' birthdays seriously!
No, I don't think I've any profundity in me today. Not the slightest bit. I guess its just one of those days where I laugh too much, smile too wide and as a result I transform back from the compulsive thinker to just...me. Happy go lucky, worryless, laid back, lazy...me. Is it the worse side? I don't know myself. haha.
I keep wondering if there are sides of me that even I haven't discovered yet. Then again, how do I look for them if I don't know what I'm looking for? I guess its just when things happen and the ways in which you react to those situations reveal to you more of your inner self than you'd ever imagine.
Experience...has this tendency to change a person. People are inclined to live their lives under the close guidance of past experience, especially if those experiences were negative in nature. Is it possible to continue living life as it were whilst keeping those experiences close to you, but not allowing them to alter yourself as a whole? It's difficult to allow change when you realize certain experiences spawn sides of you you'd rather people not see. They begin to question, to doubt, to ostracize, to fear and quite possibly begin to lose trust. Self control? Selective conditioning? It all seems deeply complicated. And is it even necessary in the first place? You hide your demons even when people already know you're capable of releasing them...they start to look at your differently as a result.
So much for no profundity.
I wonder if I've changed much over the past few weeks. Suddenly I see being brutally honest as a trait rather untactful in nature. I don't think it's the same as being straightforward. Being straightforward is being direct and transparent, but the words that come out don't always have to result in hurt feelings. Being brutally honest is different. The term says it all. No, not honest. Brutally. Has a darker side of my spawned somewhere inside and am I trying to drive it back down to the oblivion from which it emerged?
The Christmas season is here...and!!!!! I don't feel all 'christmas-y' inside. Oh, the anticipation of going out with friends and coming home the next morning...the food, the fun, the laughter, the holiday spirit!!! not. Nope. Don't get the vibe.
We should be having some kind of Christmas concert instead of some performance at TTS Hospital. Yeah, the one I'm not involved in. I think Christmas songs are so wonderful and they really bring out the spirit in people. We should be sharing this spirit at the Esplanade!! Seems to me this Christmas is going to be as much of a disappointment as all the others I've had. So...discouraging.
Friday + Wheelock Sakae + Atiqzzz = Happy day!
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