Sigh, dreams have this extremely bad habit of popping up at really bad times. They never visited me when I was down and so upset everyday but now that I'm finally starting to try to pull away from the emotional phase of everything, IT COMES TO ME! yeah, it came to me last night. As usual, when I'd encountered dreams like that in the past, there are almost always a set of emotions and actions that follow when you wake up.
The first thing I always say when I open my eyes : "Oh god. No. I woke up." And I know it's useless to go back to sleep in the hopes of picking up where I left off, because whenever I try, I dream something different.
And I spend the next few minutes, staring at the ceiling, quietly relishing whatever I can recall, suppressing that idiotic smile and savouring the fluttering feeling in my abdomen.
After which I sink down into a state of mild depression upon realizing, hey, it's only a dream. Like it's going to come true. Damn. haha.
And after that, it bugs you for the whole day. Holy crap, I've got OCS parade today and I have this to constantly poke at my brain and stomach the whole day?
The thing I find most deeply touching about these dreams is the fact that I feel I can taste, hear, feel, and oh...smell, as keenly as I would in reality. The images aren't fuzzy. The sensations, the things I touch with my hands are as real as I can remember feeling in real life, because I KNOW how it feels like in real life. The smell. Oh man, the smell. That just brought everything back. All those things are what made those dreams feel so real, and that makes up most of the reason why they bug you afterward.
Sigh, I guess its just this kind of thing that never fail to remind you...I know I'm still missing, still needing, and now it feels like I will for a long, long time.
On a different note, a friend of mine has offered to help me record my music as he's got a self-setup, self-maintained recording studio right in his own house. Apparently he said my songs looked good so I'll give it a shot. Like mum said, it takes the heartbroken to help the broken hearted! I find that so true now. I've got a total of 8 songs as of today, and I'm not sure if I'm going to stop here.
I write music when I stop to ponder and recall...something I'm trying to do less of from now on. Perhaps when I feel the drive and inspiration I'll try to write again. When I'm done recording the songs, probably sometime early next year, I'll compile them into an album called "Answers to Freedom". Credit goes to my dear cousin atiqz for coming up with that name! BIG CREDIT, okay!!!! happy now? haha.
Right now, I'll have to continue practicing hard on my guitar playing; I suck at it, honestly. I haven't picked up my guitar since 2 years ago when I let it waste away in its softcase behind my tv in my room and now that I've brought it back to life, I don't think I should stop halfway again.
And another thing, I don't know why but I've developed this strange addiction to looking for Facebook groups that describe me best. haha...it's only been a few days and already I'm a member of 65 groups, some joined on impulse. Here' something I just came across yesterday, and found most if not all of its content to be VERY TRUE! Whether you agree or not, that's your call. But guys, you should understand why I feel this way =)
60 Things Girls Need to Understand about Guys
The first thing I always say when I open my eyes : "Oh god. No. I woke up." And I know it's useless to go back to sleep in the hopes of picking up where I left off, because whenever I try, I dream something different.
And I spend the next few minutes, staring at the ceiling, quietly relishing whatever I can recall, suppressing that idiotic smile and savouring the fluttering feeling in my abdomen.
After which I sink down into a state of mild depression upon realizing, hey, it's only a dream. Like it's going to come true. Damn. haha.
And after that, it bugs you for the whole day. Holy crap, I've got OCS parade today and I have this to constantly poke at my brain and stomach the whole day?
The thing I find most deeply touching about these dreams is the fact that I feel I can taste, hear, feel, and oh...smell, as keenly as I would in reality. The images aren't fuzzy. The sensations, the things I touch with my hands are as real as I can remember feeling in real life, because I KNOW how it feels like in real life. The smell. Oh man, the smell. That just brought everything back. All those things are what made those dreams feel so real, and that makes up most of the reason why they bug you afterward.
Sigh, I guess its just this kind of thing that never fail to remind you...I know I'm still missing, still needing, and now it feels like I will for a long, long time.
On a different note, a friend of mine has offered to help me record my music as he's got a self-setup, self-maintained recording studio right in his own house. Apparently he said my songs looked good so I'll give it a shot. Like mum said, it takes the heartbroken to help the broken hearted! I find that so true now. I've got a total of 8 songs as of today, and I'm not sure if I'm going to stop here.
I write music when I stop to ponder and recall...something I'm trying to do less of from now on. Perhaps when I feel the drive and inspiration I'll try to write again. When I'm done recording the songs, probably sometime early next year, I'll compile them into an album called "Answers to Freedom". Credit goes to my dear cousin atiqz for coming up with that name! BIG CREDIT, okay!!!! happy now? haha.
Right now, I'll have to continue practicing hard on my guitar playing; I suck at it, honestly. I haven't picked up my guitar since 2 years ago when I let it waste away in its softcase behind my tv in my room and now that I've brought it back to life, I don't think I should stop halfway again.
And another thing, I don't know why but I've developed this strange addiction to looking for Facebook groups that describe me best. haha...it's only been a few days and already I'm a member of 65 groups, some joined on impulse. Here' something I just came across yesterday, and found most if not all of its content to be VERY TRUE! Whether you agree or not, that's your call. But guys, you should understand why I feel this way =)
60 Things Girls Need to Understand about Guys
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