Does anyone think blogging every single day is a little excessive? And multiple posts per day at that...I think I just have too much to say! haha!
Sometimes I feel this huge urge to blog but end up having nothing to say after clicking 'new post'. Maybe what my friend said to me last night had some truth to it. Why keep a diary which everyone can see? They end up knowing a little too much about your life and then start bombarding you with questions you realize you don't want to answer. Why attract all the unnecessary attention? So I told him, well, for me it's a way to update people about my life and what's been going on. It'd be tiring tell the same story over and over again to different people on MSN when you could just blog about it and let everyone take a look.
Then again, there are a lot of personal things that you just can't blog about. Not that I care, apparently. hahaha. I've been pouring my heart out in almost every single post for the past few weeks. Too much information? Or too little censorship?
Maybe I'm just like this; when I've got something bugging me inside, I feel the need to talk about it, and instead of personally going up to someone and expecting him or her to hear me out, I talk about it to blogger first. And we all know how bad blogger is at keeping a secret, eh? haha. It gets out on the web and poof, hey, everyone knows. Yes, I knew that. But I always find myself doing both; blogging first, and talking to people about it later. You could say it's a kind of passive and active communication, I suppose.
I'm not someone who likes to bottle things up inside, be they things that make me happy, or things that make me sad. For the latter, constantly filling yourself with sadness and not providing an outlet of relief can prove to be very detrimental. You start to sink deeper and deeper into the darkness and start to lose your grip on things and on life. You become depressed, develop symptoms like self-hatred, the loss in ability to communicate with others, and an inability to carry out day-to-day tasks with the same effectiveness, amongst other things. I've always believed in talking to people about my troubles so I can feel better later. It's not in any way shameful to have to confide in someone and lighten the burden on your soul.
Hey, what do you know...I went from 'nothing to say' to...too much to say. haha.
I'm glad I got to sleep a little more today. I haven't been getting enough sleep for the whole week and it was starting to take its toll on me. I'd either wake up halfway during the night, or find myself wide awake staring at the ceiling at such times as 7am in the morning when I could actually sleep in. I felt tired, but couldn't bring myself to go back to sleep. But it's getting better.
Appetite seems to be coming back slowly, too. I can't afford to lose any more weight than I already have! Yesteryday when I put on my no.1, It felt a lot looser around the neck, and it's usually so tight my skin would be bulging over the collar, and it'd be hard to breathe. I thought the uniform had expanded after washing. Damn! haha.
Speaking of yesterday, some of my SAF Band mates knew how uncomfortable I felt being at SAFTI yesterday, being surrounded by the cadets who would graduate in just a matter of hours. You could say I was filled with regret knowing the fact that I could have been here if I'd wanted to. I felt inferior knowing that I'd wanted to be an officer and that was my goal for NS, at least until I went to BMT. Things...changed, and I ended up making the choice I felt was second best. This is why the OCS Comms Parade is the only parade I've really disliked doing. Second best...should we always have to settle for second best when the best is within our reach? But I guess I had made my choice and I'll have to live with what I have and what will be in the future.
our dreams are pathways filled with thorns, thumbtacks, tripwire mines and over and around those pathways, a roof and surrounding walls of barbed wire. Did I mention the thumbtacks are sticking out of the ground and are immovable? The only way to get to our dreams is to squirm and crawl and keep going even when the pain is excruciating and there are deadly obstacles in our way. Along the way we notice openings in the wire, opportunities to get out and walk the paths of lush greenery, rainbows, endless surrounding beauty and a travellator. If we choose to escape the torment and submit to taking those paths, we will never see the Paradise that is the end of our journey to realize our dreams.
Sometimes I feel this huge urge to blog but end up having nothing to say after clicking 'new post'. Maybe what my friend said to me last night had some truth to it. Why keep a diary which everyone can see? They end up knowing a little too much about your life and then start bombarding you with questions you realize you don't want to answer. Why attract all the unnecessary attention? So I told him, well, for me it's a way to update people about my life and what's been going on. It'd be tiring tell the same story over and over again to different people on MSN when you could just blog about it and let everyone take a look.
Then again, there are a lot of personal things that you just can't blog about. Not that I care, apparently. hahaha. I've been pouring my heart out in almost every single post for the past few weeks. Too much information? Or too little censorship?
Maybe I'm just like this; when I've got something bugging me inside, I feel the need to talk about it, and instead of personally going up to someone and expecting him or her to hear me out, I talk about it to blogger first. And we all know how bad blogger is at keeping a secret, eh? haha. It gets out on the web and poof, hey, everyone knows. Yes, I knew that. But I always find myself doing both; blogging first, and talking to people about it later. You could say it's a kind of passive and active communication, I suppose.
I'm not someone who likes to bottle things up inside, be they things that make me happy, or things that make me sad. For the latter, constantly filling yourself with sadness and not providing an outlet of relief can prove to be very detrimental. You start to sink deeper and deeper into the darkness and start to lose your grip on things and on life. You become depressed, develop symptoms like self-hatred, the loss in ability to communicate with others, and an inability to carry out day-to-day tasks with the same effectiveness, amongst other things. I've always believed in talking to people about my troubles so I can feel better later. It's not in any way shameful to have to confide in someone and lighten the burden on your soul.
Hey, what do you know...I went from 'nothing to say' to...too much to say. haha.
I'm glad I got to sleep a little more today. I haven't been getting enough sleep for the whole week and it was starting to take its toll on me. I'd either wake up halfway during the night, or find myself wide awake staring at the ceiling at such times as 7am in the morning when I could actually sleep in. I felt tired, but couldn't bring myself to go back to sleep. But it's getting better.
Appetite seems to be coming back slowly, too. I can't afford to lose any more weight than I already have! Yesteryday when I put on my no.1, It felt a lot looser around the neck, and it's usually so tight my skin would be bulging over the collar, and it'd be hard to breathe. I thought the uniform had expanded after washing. Damn! haha.
Speaking of yesterday, some of my SAF Band mates knew how uncomfortable I felt being at SAFTI yesterday, being surrounded by the cadets who would graduate in just a matter of hours. You could say I was filled with regret knowing the fact that I could have been here if I'd wanted to. I felt inferior knowing that I'd wanted to be an officer and that was my goal for NS, at least until I went to BMT. Things...changed, and I ended up making the choice I felt was second best. This is why the OCS Comms Parade is the only parade I've really disliked doing. Second best...should we always have to settle for second best when the best is within our reach? But I guess I had made my choice and I'll have to live with what I have and what will be in the future.
our dreams are pathways filled with thorns, thumbtacks, tripwire mines and over and around those pathways, a roof and surrounding walls of barbed wire. Did I mention the thumbtacks are sticking out of the ground and are immovable? The only way to get to our dreams is to squirm and crawl and keep going even when the pain is excruciating and there are deadly obstacles in our way. Along the way we notice openings in the wire, opportunities to get out and walk the paths of lush greenery, rainbows, endless surrounding beauty and a travellator. If we choose to escape the torment and submit to taking those paths, we will never see the Paradise that is the end of our journey to realize our dreams.
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