Soon I'll be leaving for the airport. Perhaps this short escape will give me some time to think about what I've done, what I'm doing, and what I'll be doing in the future. It's hard...the terror of closing my eyes, the fear of going anywhere and everywhere alone, the music I avoid. If this were a boxing match in which I'd just been floored by a punishing blow, I would say I've just grasped the first rope and I'm on my way to standing up again.
It's strange, sometimes, when I feel I'm much less affected by the nerve-wracking torment, but I always find myself in that same spot everyday and it feels as if it's something that I have to go through even though I might not want to. It's also frustrating to know that I'm constantly pondering over things I can't change. It's a waste as well as a burden, though I can't say this is a huge burden to me, although it's the biggest. What's the use of crying over spilt milk? Pardon the cliche.
Circumstances rule men, not men circumstances.
It is no use worrying over things you cannot control.
What chilling blows we suffer - thanks to our own conflicting wills - whenever we show these mortal men some kindness.
This could be right or wrong. It really depends. Such is the complexity of humankind.
And pain becomes a way of life as much as something feared by humans...in one way or another we have to accept that fact that we were born to experience pain and suffering and are only purged and delivered of these afflictions when we finally die. It is the consequence of what we lose in our lives.
The lot of man is to suffer and die. What's gone is of no consequence.
Of course I'd have realized by now that since what's happened has happened, whatever matters that used to have concerned me so deeply is quite simply...none of my business anymore. Well, at least, some of them. Perhaps...the trick to life is not to be too attached to anything. Emotionally, at least. I used to find this idea wrong and quite frankly I still do. It's some kind of escapism where you refuse to accept something for fear of losing it.
Everyday we get stronger, stronger than yesterday, and on the following day, we will find ourselves better able to tackle life's many challenges, some foreseen, and some of the nasty surprises we always come to loathe and fear. I feel...slightly stronger than I'd been a few weeks ago. Slightly.
I wish I'd been able to take this much better than I've had. Not to the extent of being woefully superficial, of course. I don't want to be superficial...I think it makes a person come across as a cold, heartless individual with no concern for the feelings of others. Yeah, maybe I've been that person. And I regret it. It's a side of me I never want to show again.
Till next Wednesday...goodbye.
It's strange, sometimes, when I feel I'm much less affected by the nerve-wracking torment, but I always find myself in that same spot everyday and it feels as if it's something that I have to go through even though I might not want to. It's also frustrating to know that I'm constantly pondering over things I can't change. It's a waste as well as a burden, though I can't say this is a huge burden to me, although it's the biggest. What's the use of crying over spilt milk? Pardon the cliche.
Circumstances rule men, not men circumstances.
It is no use worrying over things you cannot control.
What chilling blows we suffer - thanks to our own conflicting wills - whenever we show these mortal men some kindness.
This could be right or wrong. It really depends. Such is the complexity of humankind.
And pain becomes a way of life as much as something feared by humans...in one way or another we have to accept that fact that we were born to experience pain and suffering and are only purged and delivered of these afflictions when we finally die. It is the consequence of what we lose in our lives.
The lot of man is to suffer and die. What's gone is of no consequence.
Of course I'd have realized by now that since what's happened has happened, whatever matters that used to have concerned me so deeply is quite simply...none of my business anymore. Well, at least, some of them. Perhaps...the trick to life is not to be too attached to anything. Emotionally, at least. I used to find this idea wrong and quite frankly I still do. It's some kind of escapism where you refuse to accept something for fear of losing it.
Everyday we get stronger, stronger than yesterday, and on the following day, we will find ourselves better able to tackle life's many challenges, some foreseen, and some of the nasty surprises we always come to loathe and fear. I feel...slightly stronger than I'd been a few weeks ago. Slightly.
I wish I'd been able to take this much better than I've had. Not to the extent of being woefully superficial, of course. I don't want to be superficial...I think it makes a person come across as a cold, heartless individual with no concern for the feelings of others. Yeah, maybe I've been that person. And I regret it. It's a side of me I never want to show again.
Till next Wednesday...goodbye.
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