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Sunday, March 08, 2009

In sleep at first we see nothing but the infinite darkness stretched out in immeasurable bounds ahead of and around us.

Then the images, consider yourself lucky or otherwise, begin to crawl in, surreptitiously but surely, and soon you find yourself living in your own story, a figment, or rather ethereal pieces of an unfinished puzzle floating in the air and coming, piece by piece, into place. The entire picture will never be seen, because dreams are almost always never complete.

They show you what you need or want to see, or what you dread the most, then disappear as quickly as they came. Sometimes they escape your memory. That's why at most times people can't remember what they'd dreamed the night before.

Welcome to your very own show. Spotlight's on you. And you have absolutely no control over what's going to happen over the course of your little charade. The script's all been written; written by a higher hand, perhaps? Or if you'd rather it be internalized, maybe your heart needs a talk with you. A rather recent memory, playing itself again just to make you remember?

And you wake up feeling...what, afraid? Grateful? Hopeful? Devastated, torn? Wistful? What have you seen?

Was the previous night dominated by the worst possible thing you could have thought of in the recent past, something you'd never want to see happen in reality? Or was it graced by the soft, luxurious mural of something sweet, something passionate, something you'd like to remember, even play out in reality?

What exactly...do we want to see?

Why am I asking so many questions? haha. Okay, question mark overload.

Sometimes it's not our worst nightmares we fear. They can sometimes set us free, though they can also be very horribly damaging. And at the same time, sweet dreams have the tendency to put a lot of unnecessary things in us. Things like hope (well false hope, actually). Things that remind...remind us of the very memories we long to forget.

It almost feels as if we're being played in a game where emotion runs free and plays dirty. We want to forget something, it comes back to haunt us.

Sometimes we wake up feeling "nah, that'll never happen."

Well, you never know. Of course, if you're imagining the ultimately impossible, like getting into bed with Arielle Kebbel, then I think you know when to back off. But all in all, you never know. Think of it as a subtle form of premonition.

Dreams. Annoying. Humbling. Unnecessary.

This...is going to take a while.

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