It's already past 1pm? And to think I woke up at around 9 today...I feel extremely bored, the way I've been for the past few hours, but time still seems to pass me by without any conceivable difference. The world really is passing us by faster than we'd prefer, and I think I can speak for most of us when we say that. Living life in the fast lane can get pretty scary when we begin to feel that things are starting to run out of control, and we start to lose our grip on things, fail to cherish what we have and stop to appreciate the beauty of something when we're too focused on getting our hands on the next best thing and getting over and done with the next task.
I miss the slow, relatively carefree and most importantly, hugely enjoyable life that was secondary school. I spent three and a half years caring about close to nothing. Studying just wasn't 'there' till after the sec4 mid-year examinations. I just got tired of being at the bottom of the class. That's all. Before that revelation everyday was a joy to live; being with friends, surrounded by laughter and the things we enjoy to do so much, that omnipresent fluttering feeling when your crush passes by, followed by the agonizing realization it's not going to happen..hahaha. Oh I do remember those feelings. Fondly. There really wasn't much to worry about. Especially for someone like me, who has this not-so-desirable knack of dodging responsibility like avoiding bullets. I have no regrets.
What was I again? The 'melancholic'? The follower, the perfectionist, the slow-witted, the chronically depressed and unconfident, the list goes on and I can't write out what I can't recall, so let's just leave it at that.
Sometimes I wonder if it's a good or bad thing that everything around us happens so quickly. This can be a double edged sword...the years pass us by and leave us pondering our gains and losses; and we think, how have we lived our lives? Have we learned, given, shared, gained in things both material and intangible, or have we lost, forgotten, neglected, denied? Balance...sometimes balance operates on dubious principles. Nobody wants the stuff that hurts, depresses and destroys. Everyone wants to feel good, to gain something or someone, to give and receive trust, to love and be loved, to be able to say "If I die then it will be without regret". Balance takes that away. It's as unfair as it is fair, but what can I say? If it's perfect, it's not life.
I wonder what is it really that has put me in this deeply reflective mood these (this?) past few days. It seems both a chore and a relief to be able to put down whatever that has been going through my head. No, it's not because I'm lazy. It's just that I'm not sure if what I'm saying is from my heart or from my head. And everyone knows what happens if you speak too much from your heart. Funny how the heart can make split second decisions based almost entirely on the face value of something and can either be right, or so very wrong. The head just takes too long. There is, though, a very subtle difference between intuition and impulse. Where do we cross the line? That's hard to say.
Oh yeah, I miss you too, mum =)
I miss the slow, relatively carefree and most importantly, hugely enjoyable life that was secondary school. I spent three and a half years caring about close to nothing. Studying just wasn't 'there' till after the sec4 mid-year examinations. I just got tired of being at the bottom of the class. That's all. Before that revelation everyday was a joy to live; being with friends, surrounded by laughter and the things we enjoy to do so much, that omnipresent fluttering feeling when your crush passes by, followed by the agonizing realization it's not going to happen..hahaha. Oh I do remember those feelings. Fondly. There really wasn't much to worry about. Especially for someone like me, who has this not-so-desirable knack of dodging responsibility like avoiding bullets. I have no regrets.
What was I again? The 'melancholic'? The follower, the perfectionist, the slow-witted, the chronically depressed and unconfident, the list goes on and I can't write out what I can't recall, so let's just leave it at that.
Sometimes I wonder if it's a good or bad thing that everything around us happens so quickly. This can be a double edged sword...the years pass us by and leave us pondering our gains and losses; and we think, how have we lived our lives? Have we learned, given, shared, gained in things both material and intangible, or have we lost, forgotten, neglected, denied? Balance...sometimes balance operates on dubious principles. Nobody wants the stuff that hurts, depresses and destroys. Everyone wants to feel good, to gain something or someone, to give and receive trust, to love and be loved, to be able to say "If I die then it will be without regret". Balance takes that away. It's as unfair as it is fair, but what can I say? If it's perfect, it's not life.
I wonder what is it really that has put me in this deeply reflective mood these (this?) past few days. It seems both a chore and a relief to be able to put down whatever that has been going through my head. No, it's not because I'm lazy. It's just that I'm not sure if what I'm saying is from my heart or from my head. And everyone knows what happens if you speak too much from your heart. Funny how the heart can make split second decisions based almost entirely on the face value of something and can either be right, or so very wrong. The head just takes too long. There is, though, a very subtle difference between intuition and impulse. Where do we cross the line? That's hard to say.
Oh yeah, I miss you too, mum =)
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