The final day has gone by. And this is how it all ends. 6 years of history. Gone.

I look down...and I see tears rolling down carmen's face.

"I never thought I'd see this look on your faces. Never in this past year."

And though I was speechless, the looks on their faces broke my heart. The Titans family...the Titans drumline, the Titans percussion...ended today. 24th June 2006. Everything we built up from the year 2000, gone. In an instant. 

Never did I ever imagine that it would end this way.

Oh God, I'm still speechless, yet my heart remains empty, and my soul yearns for a miracle.

Those I used to see so much every other day, I won't see anymore. The music we used to play together...no more. The Titans uniform we used to wear, loud and proud...The pride it instilled in us, such a simple form of motivation; motivation in the threads of red, white and blue, the colours that struck fear in the hearts of other bands, and inspired others to be like us...The uniform is gone.

T-I-T-A-N-S Marching Band...ends here.

Two months ago I remembered a moment in the canteen in the evening, a talk with all the percussionists after their SYF competition...22nd May. The Golden Day.

"Today, my dream ends."

What was I saying? Today, on 24th June 2006, my dream ends here. And so does many others'. I just can't stand to see the looks on some of the members' faces.

I cannot bear to see the pain hidden in their joyous eyes. The sorrow buried in their hearts. It tears me apart, just like how this once happy family was torn apart in an instant.

I just feel so empty. so very empty, so very alone. So lonely. Like something inside me had been torn out. My soul is dark.

Titans...if you are reading this.

Though those you hold dear seem to be gone, the Titans spirit still lives on. Remember that. Although we are separated by distance the fire still roars bright and very much alive in our hearts, the Titans cheers remain replayed..over and over again, deep down in our souls. We sleep, we dream. But then, it is not a sin to dream. Dreams can come true if we can muster the courage to pursue them. Don't stop dreaming, don't ever stop believing. Because I...the Alumni and I all believe in you guys, both ping yi and springfield. Don't ever give up.

As I had said to the percussionists today...

"I know some of you might think...After today, everything we had accomplished in the past 6 years, well don't say the past 6 years. The past year. The SYF period. Everything had been wasted. But let me tell you this. Never, never ever give up. Because it is only when you give up that everything you've done is wasted. Don't let us down, don't let yourselves down. We are always behind you. Work hard."

Never ever give up...that was our attitude for the past years...and it was what made us strong enough to reach where we are today. But alas, the wind of authority blasts us back down the mountain which we took 6 years to climb. And we are back in square one.

But that is not the challenge. The challenge is that...

Some of those you've climbed that rugged, risk-laden mountain with, are gone. You don't see their faces, you don't feel their hard breath next to you, you don't hear their footsteps, which you've learnt to identify after being with each other for so long. But yet you feel the urge to climb again. Do you know what inspires you?

Their faces. Their smile, their laughter, their kind, encouraging words. Their childish gimmicks that tickle you all the time, even if repeated. The things you used to do together. The words you used to say together...and most of all, the music you used to make together.

All that...infused within your soul, burned into your mind.

Then you know what spurs you forward.

...

Titans Drumline, if any of you are reading this...I just want to tell you.

I love you guys, really. From the bottom of my heart. It's been an honour teaching you and training you, and especially having fun with you. I really can't bear to let you go. I can't bear to see you guys in this state, but you must be strong. For me, for syafiq, for shane, for all the percussion alumni. Most importantly, for yourself. Everything you've accomplished up to this day, is mostly due to your hard work and selfless dedication. I'm proud of you guys. I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything to let you guys be together just a while longer...I guess I can only blame myself. I want to see the day where you meet each other again in the National Stadium in 2008, not as enemies of competition, but as old friends, blood brothers and sisters. Titans.

Please promise me, that you guys won't give up.

I really love you guys...

Till next time, keep the tears, hide the sorrow. The Titans spirit still lives on.