Went over to chen pei's house on saturday for her *movie marathon*, some marathon for me; I had to be home by ten...oh well, I'm an only child, I think you can figure out why. Sometimes I think I'm being tied down too much. But how can I feel that it's wrong, mum only cares for me, thats all. After hearing from farz that she only slept 3 hours that night, I could only imagine what I'd missed out on. So far on that night I finished one movie, white chicks (pretty old, but I haven't seen it yet. really funny shit.), and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith halfway, well, twice already, since I'd seen the other half at Best in century square a long way back. It wasn't really a bad night, actually. And I finally got to see how chen pei's house actually looked like. I can't imagine I actually pictured it in my head some time ago, but the scene was all wrong...haha. And one more thing...her bed is DAMN comfy la...much better than mine. Maybe it's because I've been sleeping on the floor these past few weeks...haha. And she has such a beautiful view of the sky from her room window...imagine waking up to a clear, blue sky and bright sunlight...wonderful. What else?? I got to see farz act like a deprived little kid...haha. =D well, I left at 9:45 with qz, shared a cab with him, although he hasn't paid me yet. Dunno whether I should seek payment from him. Maybe not.

Janice said something before I left that set me thinking again...actually, I did think of it before. (hey, if you're reading this, dun worry cuz it's not your fault. REALLY! =p). I won't tell what she said to me, but just how it's related. Dad passed away a really really long time ago...well, taking into consideration that I turned sixteen a month ago, I'd guess he left around 15 years and 11 months ago. I can't even picture his face in my mind. You can say I've grown used to it, since I didn't exactly live with him long enough to have forged a bond with him and developed an impression of him. Now, to the point. How is it that I have this empty feeling lingering in me sometimes, don't know why it comes about, don't know how. Maybe it's cuz more blessed people have two parents to love, two things to fill the spaces deep down in their hearts, while I only have one. So what's the other space for? Titled "Dad", but it will never be filled. Did I actually intend to leave that space for someone else? Someone special, someone I could trust and love. Sometimes I think I've found that special someone. Most of the time I use something else to fill that little space. Think of it as two big spaces, for friends and family. My "friends" space is filled, while there is still one little space left in my "family". Could I have shifted a little and placed some of my friends into that little space? What could make up for that small yet significant little space in my heart? I don't hold the answer. Maybe I will someday.



song of the day : without the girl