Sometimes..you just feel as if you lose things. Things that you feel...can never be retrieved ever again. And what pulls at your heartstrings as if these things aren't really 'things', but living, breathing humans...those particular group of humans you call : friends. But the bright side always has something to hold, and its mercy for you is bleak, though those who you consider lost...do not leave all at an instant. Sometimes you just feel different around a person, and sometimes you don't, perhaps due to some personal reason. But most of the time you start to see the change...see the difference in someone you saw as close to your heart. So why is it that I say you lose these people?

"People change...and what's so disheartening is that you know...and you can't change them back."

That is when your little world starts to darken a little and a slight cloud of regret starts to form over your soul. So you say you can't change them back...poof...they're gone. You lose them completely, not in the physical state, but more as psychological. And that piece of a puzzle you took so long to assemble...starts to fade away. And the emptiness, though so small that it could've been insignificant at first sight...starts to sink in. But other pieces around it stay solidly settled though the order had been broken.

Why?

That's a question left unanswered for me. Friends...pieces of a lifelong puzzle...can you just imagine the thousands...tens of thousands...hundreds of thousands of such puzzle pieces being put together throughout the course of your life...and most of the time, you are just not able to step back and view the picture of your life from any angle possibly. Get it? Simply because it's not finished. And it never will, until the day when life starts to fade away from your body, and when people take notice of the loss of someone dear to them. Then the final piece is put in place. It's like...putting together an art piece...something to represent your life; what you did, where you went, who you met, who you loved, cared for, hoped for; what you dreamed for. It's like sending the finished picture to a competition held in Heaven where the Angels are the judges of your workpiece...

how are you to represent your life?

A peaceful garden filled with bliss, beautiful blooming flowers, low trees providing shade while being careful not to completely block out the warm, decadent rays of light. And in the middle of the garden...a loving couple. Your life as one with everything anyone could ask for. Not the material things.
Not the things adolescents hanker for every now and then these days. But the things that everyone else considers eternally priceless; love, care, concern, contentment, humility, wisdom. The little things the majority consider to be second priority, while the minority...the enlightened minority...consider to be second nature.

Or a vengeful or sorrowful picture...a battlefield where soldiers are dying, the wounded crying, the epic sight of both cold blooded murder and hopeful tears flowing from weary eyes. In the soldiers minds flash vivid pictures of their family...their mums, dads... children... Ones they  hold dear, the only ones they could ever tear for. The drummers continue playing their zealous rhythms with frightening tenacity as the huge cannons behind them blast away, hurling giant balls of metal and steel into ranks of soldiers on the other side...A scene of horror, death, and sorrow.

How could you paint your picture of life? Or rather...how would you fit your pieces of your lifetime puzzle?

Finding it difficult at times...when the people around you seem to turn into others you cannot possibly recognize...their words you cannot accept and understand; their actions a mere blur because you cannot believe that they are capable of such behaviour. One piece of the puzzle is missing, as day by day, the puzzle continues to grow. That piece is but hope dangling by a thread...You ponder over its fate...

Its fate?

Your fate?

There isn't a chance for you to pick up the pieces and start over; what's done is done. But there's a hopeful catch : what seemed to be lost...could be retrieved...perhaps for a price. But any price...would certainly be worthwhile. Because that piece...is a testament to your entire life.

Fate does not decide which pieces you pick up along the way.

Fate does not keep inside you, the words you wish to say.

Fate does not remind you that your life is getting worse everyday.

Fate is a liability to yourself....if you wish to accept fate, you accept the consequences. Don't trust fate, but instead trust your intuition, your feelings; your heart, mind and soul. Don't follow the crowd because fate allows.

Don't succumb to pressure. Don't hold back because of the past.

"People change...and what's so disheartening is that you know...and you can't change them back."