Back from TPJC band...and I'm still in my TPJC uniform...too lazy to bathe. Starving like hell here lah! waiting for grandma to fix dinner. Yes, I went to school in new uniform today. I woke up this morning so eager to try out my new uniform (yes, cheesy and corny I know.) and when I finally got dressed and stood in front of the mirror...
"Oh man. This is SO wrong." -_____________-"
Oh well. School today passed quickly, ended at 12:10...had to wait in the canteen with the rest of my mates till 12:50 before we could leave...played a little cards in that time.
The past few days? You all want updates dontcha. Well, frankly, I don't remember MUCH. haha. except one lah. Mr poh barred me from band on weekdays cuz he wants me to go to school. Damn, if i didn't pon the last few lessons on tuesday, I would've been able to come back on weekdays...now I can only do what I have to on saturdays. 4 MORE WEEKS = 4 MORE SATURDAYS? I hate myself for not wanting to do more with the sideline for the past few months.
And that leads me to another topic...what right have I to call myself a Titan when I've not been behaving like one. Skipping classes (not now anymore, of course), slacking during practices, not performing up to my best, not giving the sideline everything I know. I've been a student, and always will be, but never made a very good teacher in any time in my life. Remember when I had to teach farz a maths three times before it got into her head, remember when I had to teach the snares for so damn long to get something when it could've been done earlier...When I think back I'm thoroughly ASHAMED. ashamed...
There are so many things that I look back at and feel that I'm so ashamed...take this for one. Samantha's been treating me like an invisible entity. She doesn't talk to me, she doesn't even look at me anymore. What's up with that? Hey, I know I've wronged her in the past, I gave her up just because my heart told me to do so, I didn't fight back. I know I shouldn't have let her suffer. But to tell you the truth, it seemed to be quite alright in the first few weeks of our mishap, still friends, still talking and laughing. Then it all stopped abruptly. Sometimes it feels as if she's hostile towards me. If you're reading this (how is it even possible when you've taken me off your links [yes, i DO notice.]) All I can say is I'm sorry. I really don't want to lose you as a friend. Anyway, it's up to you. don't want to harp on this anymore.
And people think their lives are messed up. I don't even know how to describe mine.
It's difficult to move on when something's become a part of you.
"Oh man. This is SO wrong." -_____________-"
Oh well. School today passed quickly, ended at 12:10...had to wait in the canteen with the rest of my mates till 12:50 before we could leave...played a little cards in that time.
The past few days? You all want updates dontcha. Well, frankly, I don't remember MUCH. haha. except one lah. Mr poh barred me from band on weekdays cuz he wants me to go to school. Damn, if i didn't pon the last few lessons on tuesday, I would've been able to come back on weekdays...now I can only do what I have to on saturdays. 4 MORE WEEKS = 4 MORE SATURDAYS? I hate myself for not wanting to do more with the sideline for the past few months.
And that leads me to another topic...what right have I to call myself a Titan when I've not been behaving like one. Skipping classes (not now anymore, of course), slacking during practices, not performing up to my best, not giving the sideline everything I know. I've been a student, and always will be, but never made a very good teacher in any time in my life. Remember when I had to teach farz a maths three times before it got into her head, remember when I had to teach the snares for so damn long to get something when it could've been done earlier...When I think back I'm thoroughly ASHAMED. ashamed...
There are so many things that I look back at and feel that I'm so ashamed...take this for one. Samantha's been treating me like an invisible entity. She doesn't talk to me, she doesn't even look at me anymore. What's up with that? Hey, I know I've wronged her in the past, I gave her up just because my heart told me to do so, I didn't fight back. I know I shouldn't have let her suffer. But to tell you the truth, it seemed to be quite alright in the first few weeks of our mishap, still friends, still talking and laughing. Then it all stopped abruptly. Sometimes it feels as if she's hostile towards me. If you're reading this (how is it even possible when you've taken me off your links [yes, i DO notice.]) All I can say is I'm sorry. I really don't want to lose you as a friend. Anyway, it's up to you. don't want to harp on this anymore.
And people think their lives are messed up. I don't even know how to describe mine.
It's difficult to move on when something's become a part of you.
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