I'm completely moodless but I have no idea why I'm here to blog haha...this is lame. Today the band damn good la, well, for me I guess. Freakin hair stand, and it was so difficult teaching the sideline percussion with the band playin in the field. So loud until everyone was so distracted; I think I got distracted the most. I was giving tempo for dem when suddenly I stopped to listen to the band, den the whole thing break down HAHA! very nice to see that they're moving towards the good side. Really up to standard now. Now the only problem is keeping it that way, and improving even further...

I've got one month to bring the sideline percussionists up to standard...the problem is how. I think the problem lies more with me than with them. I can get really really patient with them, but when that patience is lost, man, I start shouting, I start yelling, it's so frustrating for me. More to me than to them I think. They're just there thinking

"What the hell is he yelling about?"

Yes, funny indeed. But I really don't want to see them being brushed aside just before the competition like they did two years ago. It isn't worth wasting our effort, wasting their effort too. They're lacking a little something...I don't know what. I doubt they know much about their own playing too. Play play la...that's all mah. What can I say about that? I keep saying I want to push on, but there are still times I feel like, well you know, slacking...let them do whatever they want for a while, take a break for myself. Then I think...what the hell am I doing. This is not the right way..it's not the Titans way. It's definitely not my way then.

Have to continue pushing myself forward..not for myself, but for the percussion section, for the band.

Someone tear my heart out please. I need a new one...the old one's too heavy. Can't carry it anymore.