hm.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Another blessing in disguise? The previous one lasted four years...now it's another two for me. Curse DSA. One thing that really put me off was that one of the teachers at MJ fuckin sneered at my results when my mum talked to her.

"10 points? That's just average, not good enough"

You little bitch. I won't say anything more for fear of being branded anything next to boastful. How come none of my seniors in MJ said anything about the bitchy staff? Hell yes they made it far in the past three years...but their humility is nowhere in sight. And I thought that VP at VJC was an asshole. Take a look at that man.

You must be thinking why I'm able to blog at such a time...guess where I am? HOME. Bloody TPJC orientation going on this whole week...with days ending between 3pm and 4pm, I'm not prepared to sit in a classroom with all my ex classmates playing cards the whole day. I guess none of them are going for the orientation anyway. We've already been 'orientated' three or so months ago. I must say it was too easy getting out of school today in sight of so many teachers. Where did they think I was going? To the toilet? Yea man, the cleanest bathroom in Tampines...right here in my home. wanna see? Book an appointment, man...

Damn I'm getting lame. Oh yea, I was kept standing for a good half hour while my mum scolded me from the comfort of my living room sofa yesterday. It seems she was in a bad mood, quite strange since she had just got up from a nap in her room. I already told her about my intention to send benedict off at the airport that night in the afternoon, and she said she was okay with it. Who knew, a few hours later she was kicking up such a huge fuss about it. Then she started off with her usual lecture regime...raking up all the past things, picking on every bit of detail just to find fault with me, typical of her 'bad mood' behaviour. I must say I'm quite used to it having experienced it for a decade or more. Although I get seriously pissed off when I realize she's picking on me, I do understand that she's under stress too...try not to fight back and worsen the situation. There are times, though, when I'm right and she keeps quiet for a moment, thinking of another event that took place god knows how long ago to spite me.

"He's only going away for a month. Big deal. It's not as if he's migrating or anything. You don't need to go."

Damn, one month is a hell of a long time for me. I didn't even bother to tell her how important friends are to me, cuz she'll use that classic counter-attack :

"Do friends provide for you? Do friends give you a roof for you to live under? Why don't you go live with you friends in that case, see who wants to take you in"

Wow, she's used that sentence so many times I've memorised it lol. Even if he's going away for a month, man, I still think its damn important for me to go see him off, say a proper personal goodbye, you know, the usual stuff. I mean, how would I feel if I was going overseas alone for a long while and nobody came to see me off? Family will be there, yes, but what about the dear friends I won't be seeing for so long?

Now I'm in another precarious position. Next week is the band camp and I, as usual, have to keep mum in a really good mood so she'll let me go for it. It's the same thing over and over again for the past few years, even now when I've graduated.

"Everything you do now is for the band. What has the band done for you? What has kenrick poh done for you?"

OH MAN, THAT PISSED ME OFF REAL GOOD!

I didn't even bother to answer. I knew the answer within myself. She doesn't even understand the bond I've made with the band, whether I've graduated or not, the Titans spirit still lives within me. My SOUL bears the Titans name. oh, and FYI, mr poh moulded me into what I am today : a better person with a strong mind and will, a decent percussionist, a devoted band member. It was HIS hard work and perseverance that made me that way, as with many other band members...all my friends know, all the seniors know. I know.

Well, as usual, after an hour or so she cooled down and offered to cook dinner for me. This is usually the case if she scolds me before dinner time. And it's this sign that tells me it's ok to talk to her now. Oh man, I can't wait till I'm like, 18 or something. I think that will give me more freedom, meaning, I tell her what I'm going to do, not ask. I can stay out at night, I can manage my own time in my own way. Yes, she still has that control over me, but give me a little more control over myself, eh? I don't want to be chained to her until I'm 21. When I start making my own hard earned money I'll still support her like she did me...forget all those petty scoldings she gave me...it's in her personality I guess. If she didn't bring me up till today, who would?

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