hm.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

 Okay I'm back to blog after almost a week of being MIA. just too busy to blog I guess. The rest of the time...just pure lazy.

Yesterday was a very tiring day. Got up at about 8:30am to go to school...moved instruments and stuff, then by 11am we were at VCH already. Ran through a few times...bla bla bla, den concert started at around 7:30pm. Won't elaborate on the concert though. Wasn't exactly the best for me. By the time I got home it was already 12am. Or to be precise...11:59pm. Happened to notice the clock arms when I looked up.

But something keeps bugging me from yesterday and I can't quite seem to forget it. And I'm starting to have doubts about myself.

A few friends of mine said the band was lousy in the first half; I met them during the intermission. Even put it across to me in a joking manner. I take criticism well, but this was too much. It was like telling me straight in my face "it's fucked up" well, someone felt pretty fucked up after that, and that was me.

Sometimes people may innocently think that you're here to support them, and like, they expect a little encouragement and support rather than something as destructive as that. So much for going out and looking for some words of encouragement. I got ridiculed instead.

I guess I was right when I said that besides yan wen, chen pei, atika and chang yuan, no one else was there for the purpose of supporting me.

Well for me and the rest of the TPJC band members, yesterday was our peak. At least for the first two songs. It was our best amongst all the times we played and replayed it over the past few weeks and months...and if that's not good enough, well that leaves me two things to say, but I can't possibly say them at once.

1. "I'm sorry for being a disappointment"
2. "Fuck off."

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